i got sick after playing a lot at yale. i got really sick after playing a lot lot at sectionals. conclusion: playing a lot = bad.

at the same time, i am happy that coach finally sees me. i'd much rather be miserable over the week than have wasted the weekend standing on the sidelines. even if it is as a "defensive specialist," or some shit like that. whatever, i scored some... almost always when someone caught a huck within 5 feet of the goal line. oh, or when the other team drops it right near their endzone and they're not even paying attention. i love those.

when i told goy about giving mio an athsma attack, he assumed it was me on offense and him covering me. when he asked me if i ran him into the ground on o, i realized i didn't remember an instance of him covering me. what should i do about that? i really only like fast break offense, when the defense is surprised and off balance. it always takes me too long to cut when my man is set up on me. along a similar vein, i really liked silent scope (an arcade game where one shoots terrorists and such with a sniper rifle), but only while the terrorists had no idea i was there. as soon as they started shooting back at me, the fun level dropped significantly. does that say something about me?

i have been noticing a significant increase in people calling me an asshole/jackass. well, jess would call me an asshole if i bought him flowers and started volunteering in a soup kitchen. i think he's worse than i am, but i could be wrong. sai understands me, i think. garrett calls me an asshole, but i'm not the one that stuck him with the name Lumber and enforced it. maybe it's only garrett that has been mentioning it. i don't know what catherine thinks; i felt pretty bad about being mean to her one night at amcafe, but when i called her the next day and apologized, she wasn't even offended in the first place. oh, rachel's boyfriend isaac though. the guy does not know me, and he asks me if i've ever been slapped. am i wrong to take offense at that? he's nice enough, but he lacks some of the tact. and he clearly doesn't understand how i work... do i hang out with the kind of girls that slap people? i hope not. do i harass strangers off the street that could possibly slap me or hit me with a purse? nope. if i thought saying something would honestly offend him or her, would i say it? nope.

this is bothering me a lot, i think i'm going to say something to rachel about it tomorrow.