wow, amanda really did write something nice about me. hmm... wow. let's see, now i should try to defend myself. (joking. that really was a nice post, amanda. thank you)

as far as being quiet, or keeping to myself, or not letting people get to know me easily, it's because i don't like people. i don't like making friends easily, because then it's harder to tell them how much they suck when you decide that they do, in fact, suck. i don't see the need for having a lot of friends who i don't really like. i don't know how people do that. i'd rather spend time with people who try to spend time with me.

there are some reasons i try not to post on the newsgroup, as much as the impulse strikes me. first of all, many people are morons. they don't understand some very simple rules governing what is "funny." to me, at least, and i think a lot of people would agree with me.

1) be clever
2) don't make fun of someone about something that's true
3) be clever
4) don't jump into the middle of someone else's smack
5) don't be eytan

how hard is that? if you're a retard, you should keep your fat mouth shut and never post. if someone's bad at frisbee, you don't make fun of them for it. if someone insults someone else in a post, you probably don't know why, or if it's a joke, and you have no reason for butting in.

i'm a hypocrite, i violate these rules every so often. i think, but i'm not sure, that the key is being ironic. if i'm being distinctly unclever, it's so stupid that it's funny. or that's what i tell myself. anyways.

so i am a hypocrite. i form grudges easily and keep them, forever. i could just say i have a long memory, but who needs to sugarcoat it? i also can dish it out but can't take it. i'm not nearly as bad as mary in that last aspect, but i've got pretty thin skin for the amount of shit i give out. really, though, if i don't find it funny, i don't appreciate it. when someone rips me a new hole, i'll laugh too, but only if it's done in a stylish manner. sai said something to me to the effect of having a high standard of humor, expecting everyone else to perform up to that standard, and unfairly despising anyone who can't. i think that's kind of true. except for the unfairly part.

let me make it clear: i don't appreciate short jokes.
1) they are not clever.
2) i consider it a serious disadvantage in life, in all sorts of ways. call it a complex if you want, but it's true.
2a) i make fun of rachel for having deep eye sockets, but i don't think they're really deep. mary's just nuts. plus, even if they were deep, i can't tell, so it's not unattractive or anything like that. i think that makes sense...
2b) i make fun of amanda for being irish. this doesn't seem bad to me, either. perhaps if we were in that era where everyone hated the irish (heh, oh, i guess we still are). but i don't think it's an actual bad thing, despite being not witty and beaten to death.
3) i've been hearing them since 4th grade.
4) i shouldn't need to explain it beyond, they bother me, please don't make any.

the people who find me offensive are the people i don't need as friends.

and i am friendly! if i don't hate you.

thank you for the nice post, amanda. i love it when people tell me good things about myself, because sometimes i wonder if there are any.

as far as feeling fuzzy, i would suggest going to the nearest drugstore. they have creams for that, you know.