movies part 4: final destination

i rented this last night (friday) because raj said it was good. and i have an appreciation for devon sawa, after seeing idle hands. and i have an appreciation for ali larter, because of her acting talent.

ridiculous. i do enjoy the premise. and i love how candyman the mortician was there to handily explain it to the main characters. but come on:

1 teacher puts water in kettle.
2 stove won't light, teacher uses match.
3 teacher uses dish towel to pick up kettle, throws towel casually on knife rack nearby.
4 teacher pours hot water into mug, sees mug is from high school (bad memories), throws water out
5 teacher takes vodka out of freezer, pours in
6 mug cracks
7 teacher walks to living room, dripping a trail of vodka out of crack
8 teacher leans over computer, vodka drips into monitor
9 vodka drips into something that explodes??
10 shard of monitor impales teacher's throat
11 teacher stumbles back into kitchen
12 fire from computer explosion follows teacher to kitchen
13 fire reaches stove that for some reason has residual gas even though she lit it with a match
14 stove explodes
15 teacher is on ground with shard still in throat, reaches for towel
16 teacher pulls towel down, manages to pull down knife rack, is impaled by knife
17 something else explodes, chair falls onto knife, knife goes in deeper

i originally meant for my list to convey how transparently intricate all those inane little steps at the beginning are, and how they somehow each contribute to the dying in some farfetched manner. i don't think i managed to do that so well. whatever. the movie kind of blew. ali larter started the movie with nappy brown hair and bangs, and then for some reason is blonde and hot by the end of it. why?