the real world: midgar

a couple of things that i can think of.

i wanted to say something a few days ago about how there is a demand for footage of hot people just doing stuff. i would pay money to watch jessica alba going about her everyday routine. all the nudity could be cut out, too, i wouldn't care. watching her comb her hair, or drive around in her car, or picking up fruit from the grocery store. i would watch that. all the time.

the problem is that hot people like their privacy (i just realized this must be why reality shows are so addicting. maybe i don't like them because the stars aren't hot enough. if the real world is any indication, the producers recognize that and are enthusiastically fixing the problem). like it's their right or something. whatever. regardless, this is what makes fake people so great. as in cgi people. as in tifa. i could watch an animated tifa drinking her coffee without losing interest. more importantly, i would pay to watch it. the problem here is that animating her costs money. when is there going to be self-sustaining cgi? once you have a model and a setting, you can just give it some guidelines and have it go about its routine. and if that model is a beautiful video game character and the guidelines are beach volleyball, so much the better. is that even a project anywhere in any company? the broader model, although the beach volleyball with beautiful characters is already reality.

i'm sure it must have applications beyond what i've suggested here. is what i've suggested perverted? i don't think so, but it's definitely creepy. austin, help me out here. are you considered an authority on creepy, or are you like those kids that are so innocent they don't recognize racism?

i had an actual dream, last night or the night before, about a friend who has been worrying me. the thing is that i'm not sure if i'm worried about this person because i ought to be or i think that it's funny to be. and that brings up the whole idea of acting as a certain person until you become that person. and i'd hate to really become the person that i've been acting as for these past couple of years, because he's kind of a jerk. even though he can be pretty funny.

my saving grace has always been that people overall say that i'm mean on the outside but nice on the inside. so if i decided that one day i wanted to be good, i'd have my inside reputation to fall back on. and if i decided one day to just fuck it, i could be a real jerk without really shaking up my routine too much. wow, that's amazing that i can't even commit to a basic personality.

i wonder when i will stop drifting. heh, i even float at my job - meaning i don't have my own classroom, but still.

oh, that whole watching celebrities thing came from watching red eye. the movie is not bad at all. i don't think i have to be gay to be intensely bothered by cillian's unshaven mess of a face throughout the entire movie. to get to the point, even though the movie was not too bad and overall entertaining, i kept thinking to myself, "even if this movie sucked, i'd be happy." goddamn, that rachel mcadams is a looker. she really puts the beauty in beauty mark. how many does she have? that's rare in an actress. i think she looks the best in this over wedding crashers and especially mean girls. i really could have sat through one and a half hours of her sitting on a stool in an empty white room and reading her lines. but of course, if i stake out her home with a pair of opera glasses, it's not art.

i started this post to say something about how i just wasted maybe an hour and a half at home grading papers, and how i'm disgruntled that i actually got the raise that made me happy enough at my job to work hard, which is why i have to grade shit at home and not at school, but it's pretty pointless to complain about something as silly as that, but i thought i'd stick it in the end since i said a couple things, and we all know a couple is 4 or 5.