serenity

i watched serenity, and it's amazing. i have gripes, of course, but that's the way of the verse. fuck, though, i really wish i could unwatch it. i am a leaf on the wind. fucking whedon is such an asshole.

do you see movies in theatres, and watch movie rentals?

i remember being pissed when i saw the preview for narnia. all the fans who read the lord of the rings before it became a trilogy, who read the chronicles of narnia, who read his dark materials (i hope that movie is still happening, austin), who liked the x-men and spiderman comics or cartoons, and so on and so on, that is to say, all of us with GOOD TASTE, should get some reward more tangible than some vague smugness over being right all of these years. and all of the tools who only got into this shit after it got the silver screen treatment should receive an enema. huh, i left serenity off this list even though it is a shining example. i deserve something for being right all these years. i mean, christ, who are the movie executives that took 20 years to realize fantasy and comic books sell as movies? i guess someone could say something about movie technology and how some things have only been made possible recently, but then, those people could suck a dick. and fox... don't even get me started on fox. as soon as they cancel a show and put it on dvd, the sales go through the fucking roof. meanwhile, what kind of shit do they keep on the air. wow that enrages me.

i was thinking on the way home about how this life is not my life. teaching math at sci tech is not my job. my room that i grew up in is not my room. i posted about this before, but honestly, i feel like i'm still waiting for my life to really begin. back when i was in college, i knew it was going by, and i knew i would always miss it, but i had no idea how right i was. this town, with my one friend still here, in this job that makes me feel like i'm pretending just well enough that no one realizes, in my house that i don't feel like i really live in because i'm really just sleeping in the one space not filled with my possessions, none of it is my actual life. and what happens if i wake up and i'm 29 and i'm still teaching at hsst andliving in a small dinky apartment near work and that's my life and i've wasted it. terrifying.