my glorious reign

i started this rant off by saying something along the lines of, i wish i was a god. the following ensued. or the ensuing followed. take your pick.
Nephratari 1: what kind of god would you be?
ericthehodgeheG: the capricious god of whimsy and wanton destruction
ericthehodgeheG: and healing, maybe
ericthehodgeheG: if i had the time
Nephratari 1: haha
Nephratari 1: would you wear a little wreath crown?ericthehodgeheG: i would wear a bawdy maiden
ericthehodgeheG: on my penis
ericthehodgeheG: she has to be real bawdy though
Nephratari 1: hahaha
Nephratari 1: wouldn't that get cumbersome?
ericthehodgeheG: i guess i could capriciously destroy her if i got tired
ericthehodgeheG: and then i could heal her, if such was my whimsy
Nephratari 1: hahaha
ericthehodgeheG: wouldn't i make a good god?
Nephratari 1: i think you would make a great god
ericthehodgeheG: hells yes
ericthehodgeheG: the world would be so awesome if i was in charge
Nephratari 1: or at least bawdier
ericthehodgeheG: anyone who drives like a douchebag
ericthehodgeheG: smoten
ericthehodgeheG: anyone who won't stop making bad jokes
ericthehodgeheG: smoten
Nephratari 1: smitten?
ericthehodgeheG: you want a smoting??
ericthehodgeheG: ???
Nephratari 1: that doesn't sound quite right in context
ericthehodgeheG: when i smite people, it will be so damn hard they'll be smoten
ericthehodgeheG: even in the past perfect or whatever the hell that is
ericthehodgeheG: and you would be wise to remember that
ericthehodgeheG: lest you want a smotening
Nephratari 1: mmm yeah, smote me baby
ericthehodgeheG: hey
ericthehodgeheG: you're making it sound zestfully naughty rather than terrifyingly terrifying
ericthehodgeheG: what else would i do
ericthehodgeheG: i would make mike tyson the unholy extension of my limitless will
Nephratari 1: hahaha
Nephratari 1: why?
ericthehodgeheG: so that he would bite the heads off of all challengers and puppies that question my rule
Nephratari 1: puppies are going to question your rule?
Nephratari 1: impudent puppies
ericthehodgeheG: not unless they want a smotening
ericthehodgeheG: i'd rather smoten people because i don't want people getting it confused with being smitten in the sense of being in love
ericthehodgeheG: there will be no love
Nephratari 1: except the bawdy kind?
ericthehodgeheG: only my wrath, and stumbling headless puppies
ericthehodgeheG: oh, i guess bawdy love is cool
Nephratari 1: good gooood
Nephratari 1: it would be a serious impediment to my weekend activities if it weren't
ericthehodgeheG: but if the headless puppies receive love and adoration that should be directed at me, i'll have to tear off their legs
Nephratari 1: yes, it is only right
ericthehodgeheG: i wonder if i can become god by some sort of majority vote
Nephratari 1: nooo
Nephratari 1: hostile coup! hostile coup i say!
ericthehodgeheG: as in building my throne on the skulls of countless innocents?
Nephratari 1: mm yeah, that'll work