ffx + i not heart lesbians + parajob + wildwood

i meant to blog more, last time, but when i hit publish, it stayed on the 0% published forever until i closed the window. but it turned out it did publish. currently, i am having trouble blogging anything because of the gigantic font in this create new post window, and i'm having second thoughts. oh well. here goes.

i'm over 40 hours on final fantasy x. i really do like the story. i really want to know if they got it from "through the looking glass." with the red king and all. reminds me of how all the sci fi short stories i have enjoyed start with this tiny seed of an idea and grow around that. anyways, i regret in some ways playing ffx2 first. and having jillian explain to me part of the plot before i played it. and reading ahead in the faqs to who this or that boss is. i won't try to defend my faq-perusing here, though. i could get into a few paragraphs about why i use them and why i don't think of it as "cheating."

the graphics from ffx to ffx2 have not changed too much. a lot of palette reusing. but i notice the most (possibly only) difference during cutscenes with the polygonal characters. tidus has this plump face that just bothers me. it makes me think of entitled prep school kids who never have to work for anything. and yuna's face seems so blank. but in fmv, they are transformed. the scene in macalania woods in the pond... anyone who has seen it knows what i'm talking about. they look like two adolescent kids in polygon form, and then the camera angle changes and it's suddenly fmv and there's a woman singing in japanese in the background and tidus looks like the hero - handsome and wise and caring - of an rpg and yuna looks like the heroine, she is _beautiful_. oh, and her wedding dress! amazing.

i just watched the episode of buffy where willow tells buffy exactly how good "friends" she is with tara. upsetting. i hate lesbians. not as a people, and not in a stereotypical or bigoted way. mostly, i have a deep, personal, abiding grudge with one lesbian in particular. make that two. although now that i look at what i just wrote, saying i hate all lesbians because i hate one does sound like bigotry. even though i feel well justified in my hating. hmm.

tao IMed me as he was considering going to wildwood with stoops, and finding out that the registration deadline was the 10th. of course, where would we get the ladies? the columbia frisbee team has problems with women, in both the frisbee and the women capacities. whatever. i had a blast last summer. i got to know ben better from that, for which i am glad. he doesn't read blogs, so i'm not worried about him reading this - i know some people on the team can't stand him, and find him incredibly annoying. he's said some weird stuff sometimes, but i enjoy his presence overall. i've had problems with being friends with someone only because i felt bad for them, and it's bitten me in the ass, but still. i don't think ben's that type. i felt pretty bad for him when he left school in the middle of the year. it came as a surprise to me, although not a complete one. i could understand him being lonely and stuff, but i think he could've made more of an effort if he needed more human contact. and, honestly, i feel that austin shoving him away when he tried to sing "heat of the moment" had something to do with it. if i was ben, that sort of moment would crystallize whatever thoughts i was having about leaving. and when i needle austin about it, it's mostly because it's hilarious, but partly because i think he should feel bad about it.

friday morning, i sent out my resume with a slightly varied cover letter to 6 law firms (paralegaling) in dc. 5 i just looked up and 1 was on monstertrak. i got a response from one of the 5 asking for a writing sample, which i sent just before 5pm that day. no further responses. i also applied to the fbi for the intelligence analyst vacancy, which is what my brother was hired as. and i sent my resume to the us airforce through monstertrak, just because. i do need to look some more, though. eggs and baskets and all that.

two large digressions away from the wildwood tao subject. possibly he's going, possibly stoops, possibly i might meet him there. some time out in the sun would do me some good, seeing as i haven't been outside for more than 5 minutes at a time since i came down to va. and we could always head over to ac, where i could supplement my non income with winnings. knock on wood... it'd be cool if this pans out. i'll let you know.