_pain_ *wince* /e cry

*edit* gaim saves formatting! i don't care if it doesn't show up well. highlight it, you sissy. screw you aim. i'm done with you. hit the road.

i read garrett's latest post, and again, i feel like i am that much farther from nirvana. enlightenment, oneness, peace... all of these things are now that much more beyond my reach. it drives me nuts. i don't understand why or how he does it. i've heard all the usual responses. cry for attention. any way he can get it. so on. i can understand it, hypothetically, in a disconnected way, but i can't _understand_ it. it's like knowing the universe is infinite, and then having to face the physical (un)reality of its size.

i started out this post as usual. but i think i went too far. no one on the actual team was around to ask about it, so i postponed the sucker. i do think before i post. and i asked pooja for her opinion. typically -

(21:44:08) Lyra1231: yeah that's really mean
(21:44:10) Lyra1231: you cxan't post that
(21:44:16) Lyra1231: who is this guy
(21:44:20) Lyra1231: and what the hell did he post
(21:44:29) ericthehodgeheG: he does it
(21:44:31) ericthehodgeheG: over and over and over
(21:44:32) ericthehodgeheG: always
(21:44:40) ericthehodgeheG: his posts are _painful_
(21:44:45) ericthehodgeheG: and he knows they are
(21:44:52) ericthehodgeheG: bu the does it anyways
(21:45:16) ericthehodgeheG: it hurts me
(21:45:16) ericthehodgeheG: inside
(21:45:18) ericthehodgeheG: to read them
(21:46:16) ericthehodgeheG: they're so bad
(21:47:04) Lyra1231: so don't read them
(21:47:06) Lyra1231: DONT READ THEM
(21:47:12) Lyra1231: that post of yours is unforgivable

pooja doesn't know the situation. she has heard, from me, that the universe is infinite. or maybe a more appropriate analogy would be the absolute evil of satan. she knows that satan is pure evil. but she hasn't felt the pain he has caused. maybe war would be better. either way, i'm done with this part of the post.

i need a better opinion. is this too harsh? my guess is yes. i wouldn't ever want to actually stop garrett from posting anymore. i do, however, wish, with all of my bleeding heart, that he could post something that doesn't make me wince upon reading it. here you go:

garrett can have the nickname of threadkiller. or threadkilla, if he wants to be thug about it. either way, nothing absolutely destroys any comical momentum a thread has built up more efficiently than one of his posts. i mean, look at that. whatever kinetic humor this thread had, gone. whatever potential humor this thread had, will never be.

my heart would weep if it weren't busy vomiting. garrett, you make me sad inside.

i wish i could just pretend his post did not exist. but it's impossible. it's just lying there, sprawled out like a stinking raccoon corpse square in the middle of the road, screaming at you like the world's loudest car alarm: LOOK AT ME!! LOOOOOOK AT MEEEEE!!! I'M NOT FUNNY! BUT GARRETT WROTE ME DOWN AND POSTED ME ANYWAYS!! HE KNOWS I'M NOT FUNNY! BUT HE TRIES SO HARD!! AND THAT MAKES ME EVEN MORE TRAGIC!!!! HE WANTS TO BE FUNNY, BUT HE CAN'T, SO HE WILL SETTLE FOR ANY KIND OF ATTENTION, EVEN IF IT IS THE, GOD HOW IS HE THAT NOT FUNNY KIND!! LOOK AT ME AND CRY! FEEL YOUR SPIRIT SHRIVEL AND YOUR STOMACH TWIST IN KNOTS BECAUSE I SOMEHOW CAUSE YOU BOTH PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL PAIN!!

at this point i took a step back and realized i was probably going overboard. oh well.