all my material

all jokes originate from me. irrelevant of time, that is. i'm serious. i don't know how it happens. some examples:

at the rutgers tournament, i kept calling my guy "#fat" all the time. cuz he was fat. it was funny. mary kept calling her chick "fat whore."

when watching gremlins, i went upstairs for a little bit. when i came back down, all the little bastards were kickin' it in the town bar. i remarked, you know, if it weren't for that killing problem, they'd be pretty awesome to party with. and while i was upstairs, don had said something like, if they weren't homicidal killers, then they'd be cool to hang out with. i'm paraphrasing here, but you get the idea.

this week, the onion has as one of the little picture blurbs in the sideline "Arnold elected first horseman of the apocalypse." I've been saying that for days now.

and this is an old example, but i wore the salmon shirt years before ross did it on friends. and my colorblind, loser friends all claimed it was pink.

i have more evidence, but i can't remember it.

god is stealing all my jokes.