strippers billiards and breakfast

last night (monday) was howie's last night in longmeadow before he went back to uva for some summer classes, before he starts his masters in the fall. so we went down to the bars in springfield. the bars being the strip club mardi gras. the place is pretty good. 4 dollar cover, 11 dollar pitchers of beer (a lot for a pitcher, but it's hard to find pitchers in the first place, not to mention titties and ginies). can i call them ginies? maybe i should use vags. whatever.

i was the DD. which sucked. i had a beer at home, 2 cups of coors light at the bar (which didn't do shit, fucking light beer), and a small mug at the billiards lounge. meanwhile, the other three guys were all at their fucking limits. we left at least 2 pints in that pitcher at the billiards lounge.

*!!the strip club and my favorite strippers there are described forthwith. skip down if you don't want to read it!!*


the girls at the bar are pretty good. especially since they're in springfield. there were 2 absolutely gorgeous ones last night. what's funny is since it is awkward exchanging names with a girl bent over showing you her labia and such, we come up with nicknames for the girls. sort of like frisbee, only instead of, "i got hat/visor/fat kid/funny socks/purple shorts/snausages," it's "check out the tits (i don't normally like using the word tits, but it seems apt when talking about strippers) on [blank]."

so there was, the tall blonde with the legs, hot body but nasty face, the really hot blonde with the huge tits and innocent face, the 40 year old, purple, and the brunette with the glasses.

my favorite was the brunette with the glasses. she had these incredibly large natural perfect breasts. she had a really pretty face; her nickname evolved into "tiny fay" by the end of the night. she was prettier than tina fay, with longer curly brown hair, but the resemblance was definitely there. and she had pretty much no fat on her, which is impossible considering her breasts. she was giving lap dances all night; as soon as she finished with one customer another hailed her (for some reason the procedure struck me as similar to flagging down a cab).

a close close second was the really hot blond with the huge tits and the innocent face. she was giving lap dances all night, when she finally came up on stage after a few hours howie and i almost high fived. she had these expressions on her face while she was on all fours shaking it, that looked like she was concentrating really hard. her breasts were clearly fake, but they still looked really fucking good on her.

the two guys next to steiner were ridiculous. they had at least 20 dollars all in one's in front of them at one point. that's a lotta Georges. it made steiner look plain bad. a couple times he just yelled out, "i just want a stripper to come over here, i don't care what she looks like!" as loud as he could, but to no avail.

*end of strip club segment*


after the strip club, we wandered down the street a little and found a billiards lounge. this place was really cool. mike liu would've liked it. i don't know their weekend rates, but for monday night we paid $5 for a table (so only 1.25 each). pitchers of PBR were only 5 bucks. and zhu got some really good buffalo wings for 6.50, probably around 20. i am _terrible_ at pool! on one shot i succeeded in getting 3 balls at once, only they were all stripes and i was solids. we only stayed for a little bit before the wings made us realize how fucking hungry we were.

we drove to enfield and found the bickford's, but they were closed. i thought they were breakfast anytime, but oh well. their loss. we went to denny's instead, where i ordered the lumberjack. i ate a _lot_ of it, more than i should have... i ate 1.5/3 pancakes, 2 eggs, 2 sausages, 2 strips of bacon, all my home fries, half of a _thick_ slice of ham, but i left my toast. the food took so long that we were all just sleepy and not as hungry by the time it arrived. oh well. zhu passed out on the bench and slept, it was pathetic.

we left around 9:30, got back around 2:30. really fun night. too bad we didn't do it more before howie left. god, that brunette was fucking hot. goddamn.