Monday, October 18, 2004

fucking fuck fuckity fuck you nwc and 3do

i like playing old computer games. this past summer i rebeat master of orion 2. and i rebeat civ 2... i didn't actually beat civ 2, but my civilization was 3 times as big as the other 6 combined when my interest ran out, so i think i won. i just rebeat link's awakening for gameboy color (actually, i beat the original on gameboy, this time i beat the deluxe, which is not much different besides one dungeon and color).

i want to play might and magic 4 and 5. best out of the series. the series has stopped at #9, indefinitely. from 5 --> 6 NWC (new world computing) made the move to real time combat and 3d. i hated both changes. they sucked. they did an ok job implementing both, but it's still crappy compared to the good old grid map and turn based combat.

i own might and magic 4 and 5. i do not own a pc that runs on dos. or even windows 95. apparently, that means i can't play my goddamn game.

the readme that comes with the game gives several helpful suggestions that don't work. they list a support website, but unfortunately the company has gone under and the website is nonfunctional.

i've checked one or two message boards, and all the helpful people tell everyone to run dosbox. apparently dosbox emulates dos or something. i'm not sure how, but i think it has something to do with sucking up all the system resoures and running incredibly slowly. this game was created before windows 95 existed, and there is a noticeable delay every time i try to simply move forward one space, on dosbox. i also can't resize my dosbox window and when i tried to fullscreen it it did this fucked up wraparound effect. no one on the message boards have responded to my questions about dosbox.

i just want to play the old games that i already know are good. how did computers become too advanced to run a fucking simple game??

fucking dos. fucking dosbox. fucking windows 95, and fucking windows xp. fucking compatibility mode on windows xp that doesn't do shit. fucking conventional, expanded, and extended memory that don't exist anymore. fucking NWC that is now owned by 3do that is now owned by ubisoft that doesn't give a shit about NWC's old games. fucking unhelpful message boards, fucking nonexistent website support, and fucking worthless readme that is written for running a dos program on windows 95.

is it plain impossible to run the game in windows xp? someone wrote a review of the game that said it plays right out of the box. that person is a fucking liar or a genius that won't share his secret. i don't know shit about computers or OS's. why doesn't someone who knows shit figure out how to run the fucking game on fucking windows xp instead of using a shitty crutch like dosbox that doesn't work?

the best part is that the intro loads up, but it freezes before one can actually play the fucking game. it's so close. so fucking close. fuck.

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