inarticulate

i can't do it. i sat down today with a hundred different threads that i wanted to put down into coherent phrases, sentences, and paragraphs, and it's just too much. there's so much wrong, so much glaringly obvious, that it's like that saying involving the elephant in the room that everywhere does their best to ignore, or some such. how is something this obvious ok with everybody?

the situation in short:
i went to wnec on saturday. bill cosby was speaking at an educational summit. a bunch of teachers in the union went, an hour before the summit began, to get signatures for postcards to send to the mayor asking for binding arbitration for our contracts, and to hold up signs saying "support springfield teachers." a small group of us, standing along the edges of the sidewalk, in no way making noise, in no way impeding traffic, possibly bothering some parents a little bit, but for the most part they were more than happy to give us their signatures. the people at wnec called their security guards and made us leave their property.

wnec is short for western new england college. this is a fucking COLLEGE. it is a school. a place of EDUCATION.

that's not all. the only paper in springfield has a regular blurb type segment called thumbs up, thumbs down. today, the editor wrote about us in his thumbs down column! he gave us a fucking D-. he _graded_ springfield teachers and gave the thumbs down to teachers who went to wnec and "protested." because we care about our fucking lives, when obviously, as teachers, our lives are worthless, and are only something to be sacrificed for the fucking kids.

i was angry after wnec. not angry enough to do anything, because i am lazy, and i am apathetic, and i still hold to the belief that i can make no difference. i was angry after that editorial. not angry enough to do anything, because of all of the above reasons, plus the fact that one can _never_ win against fools, and i know a teacher who has written to this paper, and has had his letters ignored or edited.

i'm more angry than ever now, because i just tried to commit some of my thoughts to paper, and i _can't_. i think i'm pretty good with words. i would call myself wordy. maybe i even have the quality of wordiness. but there's so much to say, and there is so much wrong with the events i just described, and i can't even begin to know where to start.

this problem is too immense for me to make the slightest difference. i'm going to drink a beer, and then another beer after that, and then probably another.

maybe i'll write better after that.