sad

warning: you might not want to read this if you haven't seen kill bill yet.

i got the kill bill VCDs and a program to play them on my computer from Raj tonight. watched it again. i read more of the winter king through the first half, i mostly wanted to see the showdown at the house of blue leaves again. everyone really needs to see this movie. i think it's really good. i feel like people who disliked it didn't quite grasp the feeling underlying the whole piece. if you've already seen it, ask me and i'll send you the VCDs. but if you haven't yet, you ought to see it in the theater your first time. it's not the same on one's computer with the little "property of miramax" across the top.

after reading aintitcool's review of the movie, my opinion of it changed a lot. i think my mind is too malleable... i remember liking the matrix: reloaded a lot (besides a few rants), then reading a review and realizing how much it blew in various ways.

anyways, the movie is so _sad_. the bride (i hear her name is beatrix kiddo, which explains why o-ren and she both say "silly rabbit, trix are for kid") is out for revenge. they never explain why, but her family, of sorts, betray her and her husband-to-be shoots her in the head, while she is pregnant with their child.

i almost felt like crying with her when she first wakes up and wails for a few solid minutes. that was some pretty good acting. i wonder what she could possibly have thought of to summon that sort of emotion? and the review points out moments in the movie, like when o-ren apologizes to bea for ridiculing her, and when bea slumps on the bench after winning the duel. that doesn't seem like victory. she's going around slaughtering her former companions and paying them back for what they did to her, but how can that bring back the pain she's felt, or the child she lost, or the 4 years gone forever and the awful things that happened to her while she was in a coma? when they're all dead, she won't have anything to live for.

i don't know why this affects me so much. it's weird. i really needed to see those certain scenes again after reading that review. at the risk of sounding like a moron, this movie just backs up what batman always said... revenge is empty. what's the point?

at the same time, i definitely know how it is to feel pain, and to need to pay back the person who hurt you, a thousand times over. goddamn. fucking. bitch.