sorry i haven't blogged in a while. there's some good stuff in my head - lion's head and the whitney and so on. hopefully i'll post it tonight, if not, definitely tomorrow at work. for now, i'll leave you with this.

ZhueyZhu (11:52:45 PM): i just cut my scrotum with scissors by accident
ZhueyZhu (11:52:50 PM): there is some blood
ZhueyZhu (11:52:56 PM): fucking hurts

i hope i'm not ruining the surprise or anything, but...

grace carter is now the new official fact checker at FHM. she starts on thursday. wow, how cool is that. that seems like a waste for a girl to get the job, as opposed to some dork who desperately needs to get some. but, i am happy for her. then again, the fact checkers probably don't have "spritz water onto nubile, scantily clad women with ridiculously large, augmented breasts" in among their job responsibilities. still, very cool.

and i'm allowed to call her lady pee. congrats, lady pee!

i went for a run just now. well, sort of. i didn't go into the office or the lab, and i fell asleep around 4, woke up at 5:30, and thought it was tomorrow. i figured i needed the exercise. so i went down at 115th, ran until i started wondering where i was, and stopped to wander back up to riverside drive. i was only at 99th, heh. oh well, gotta start somewhere. it was beautiful, though. the night was incredible, and i saw fireflies along the way. i really think fireflies are amazing. i didn't even see one until the summer after junior year in high school, when i was at johns hopkins. if i have kids, i'm going to live somewhere with tons of fireflies. but i wouldn't let my kids catch them, that seems wrong.

so i sat down at a bench, stared off towards the jersey skyline (it was actually pretty), and let a light rain fall on me. it felt like the world was trying to make me happy. i think i am.

for the longest while, whenever people ask me how i am, i've said, "i'm fine," or "i'm all right." i think i'll start telling people, "i'm good."

after sitting there for a while, i got up and started jogging again, felt lazy after maybe 5 blocks, and strolled back through the park. it was really beautiful. i'm going to try to do this every night.

i just wrote up a list of the DVDs i own. tao, you still have my 10 things i hate about you, and you're in jersey now. damn you. rubes, i think you still have my spirited away. and karen, you have, something, i don't know what. i'm going to stop lending these things out, it's such a pain.

so on my list, counting 2 disc sets as 1, not counting anime (besides princess mononoke and spirited away), i have 81 dvds. i really want to know whichever one it is karen borrowed. i'm also not counting the silence of the lambs and one night at mccool's, which i purchased used off ebay. they don't work, but i'm too lazy to either try to clean them or yell at the seller.

columbiahouse is having a pretty decent sale, again with free shipping. i might buy 19 dvds (@ ~10 dollars each) just to put me over the 100 dvd mark. is that pure idiocy?

if it's an excel file, and i upload it here, does it show in IE or does it open up excel? whatever. i wonder if anyone will actually look at it.

i'm back from M2M for lunch. i think i've gone there every day for a week, at least. wait, not on friday, i ate at my cafeteria. but i ate there on thursday, and wednesday too, i think, and probably tuesday, and i got a sandwich there on saturday before movies, and i went there yesterday but didn't eat there because they didn't have breakfast. today, i don't think i even ate half of my turkey platter before getting full.

they should pay me to write this:
you can get fresh turkey on weekdays. fresh! oh man... you can get a wrap with cranberry sauce, lettuce, tomato, and either swiss cheese or rice. you can get it on a hero with the same ingredients, which i recommend over the wrap, due to space limitations. or you can get the platter, which is turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, and cranberry sauce. these are all 5.25. but sometimes they make up prices and they're pretty wishy washy on the tax, so today i paid 5.97. it's ok, because the portions border on ridiculously large. once i got just mashed potatoes as a side, which was 1.50, but i got way more than 1.50 worth of potatoes.

from 7-11 they serve breakfast, which i have yet to try. but you can get 2 eggs, home fries and toast for 2.50. and an omelette for 3.50.

speaking of omelettes, i made my first omelette yesterday! mike and i went to m2m but we didn't know the breakfast times, so we went to ufm and picked up eggs, tomatoes, mushrooms, cheese, and bacon. good bacon. i'm definitely going to make lots of omelettes next year. i wonder if yui likes them...

so, my weekend:

friday, i went to sam berlin's apartment on wall street for some party. such a nice place. and free beer (brooklyn lager, stella, rolling rock, corona, heineken keg cans (ugh)). and free food, which was pretty good! i played some asshole, some i drink you drink, and peed in a subway station for the first time ever.

saturday was my 4th moviethon in 8 weeks. i only saw 3 this time, making it 15 movies on the big screen in 2 months. first,

spy kids 3d was entertaining. the racing in the tunnels was very cool. but i can't stop thinking how incredible it would be if someone made the 3d VR arcade game movie targeted for my demographic. it was hilarious whenever the boys and girls did their awkward romance thing, though.

bad boys 2 - awesome. so much fun. nonstop guns, explosions, cars, and explosions. oh, and guns. lots of dead bodies. one pair of dead boobies. one pair of humping rats.

to digress, i saw bad boys just last night in austin's lounge on mike's dvd. it was good, but nowhere near the same. martin lawrence wasn't funny, he was annoying. it just wasn't polished; the sequel positively shone with wit and violent deaths.

tomb raider - if i hadn't walked out of moulin rouge, i would say it was better than this steaming pile of manure. i don't mind terrible chick flicks that aren't funny or remotely interesting; i do mind terrible chick flicks that aren't funny or remotely interesting, but pretend to be summer action blockbusters. if someone asked me to describe this movie in one sentence, i would say, "it's a movie about a girl proving she's over her ex." so bad. so bad. so bad. i asked mike and austin if they wanted to leave multiple times, they were determined to stick it out. i walked out on the ending with maybe 10 minutes left, on principle.

so bad. i have a bad taste in my mouth now. good thing i still have an enormous amount of turkey and mashed potatoes left.

to people who haven't been to see mariko yet. it closes on the 31st. that's 2 days from today! you really ought to go.

would anyone be interested in going to the bronx zoo this summer? was that business about it closing down for real? if it is, has it closed yet?

happy birthday jess!

Lyra1231: i don't know kelsey at all
Lyra1231: are you really good friends with kelsey and tricia
ericthehodgeheG: haha, you can guess who wrote that entry, right?
ericthehodgeheG: i would say i'm pretty good friends with them. they're cool folks
Lyra1231: oh whoops, i thought you wrote it for real, haha

ridiculous! i hope no one else is as silly as pooja.

if i had a daughter, i think i'd like the name sophia. it's pretty, i think it sounds rather sophisticated (obviously), and it means wisdom. remind me to stay away from jennifer, derived from guenevere (however you want to spell it), which means unfaithful.

how many different kinds of attractiveness are there? i was wondering about that earlier. and is it like a spectrum? cuz i can envision super cute on one end, and porno hot on the other, but i think there are some kinds of attractiveness that wouldn't be spectrum-able. much like how donnie darko claimed that jim cunningham's fear-love spectrum was flawed.

there is super cute to cute. these are most commonly little asian girls. i think this is what rachel's friend yui qualifies as. yen yen too.
there is that natural kind of pretty, where the girl doesn't have to try or anything. i think that mallory girl from the real world fits here.
there is the anorexic, but somehow has huge boobs hot. a lot of girls from my high school fit this category. i think most actresses do too.
there is the slutty hot, where you'd rather give it to them up the pooper because it's probably safer disease wise. associated with lots of eyeshadow.
there is porno hot, like most porn stars (surprise). like jenna jameson, oh my god. she's just pure tits and ass. haha, as matt's friend's boss once said (who was it again?), "that britney spears has a body made for fucking."

there's classic beauty, like gwyneth paltrow. my friend howie loves to talk about how he would marry her and buy her a station wagon to drive around in, but he would want to bone slutty chicks on the side. would this go on the spectrum somewhere? and i'm not sure where anorexic fits, to be honest.
there's other ones... like being kind of pretty, but because they're so nice, they're really pretty. or when a girl is really cool so she gets extra points.

mike, what does lauren kaplan count as? oh my god. she's the always exercising, always in sports bra and spandex shorts incredibly hot even though she's jewish (bonus points!) hot. she gets her own category.

there's other things, like having a nose stud gives you a push in either the slutty hot or the cool hot direction. and having your tongue pierced. i don't know about lip or eyebrow.

um, feel free to comment. except you ken. you have that subway rat slut hot category all to yourself.

please, if you have any constructive input or obnoxious comments you're itching to make about my personality, share. i want to hear them. or see them on the computer screen. you get the damn idea.

have you ever walked by a campus tour group and noticed an incredibly hot girl in the crowd? i'm talking long straight blonde hair, great body - skinny, long legs, with her stylish sleeveless sweater skirt sunglasses fancy bag? and then thought to yourself, no way she's coming here, she's waaaaay too hot... yeah, me neither. i hate columbia.

i was bored enough to take that myers briggs personality type test again. this time i got extravert (22%) sensing (11%) feeling (11%) judging (11%). those seem like really small inclinations, but i don't know what other people got, so i have no way of knowing if 11 is normal or if i'm just some fence straddler.

this time i'm sensing instead of intuitive. i can buy that, because i don't understand the difference. i know that i am definitely an extravert, and i most certainly am judging. feeling/thinking is odd, i would have thought i'd be a thinker, but then again, i am a sissy. i think this is more right; the description for the provider seems more accurate than the teacher type.

description by D. Keirsey
paragraphs 1 and 2 could be right. 3 really rings true. as for 4, no way am i going to be a sales or service person.

Provider Guardians [ESFJs] take it upon themselves to arrange for the health and welfare of those in their care, but they are also the most sociable of all the Guardians, and thus are the great nurturers of established institutions such as schools, businesses, churches, social clubs, and civic groups. Wherever they go, Providers take up the role of social contributor, happily giving their time and energy to make sure that the needs of others are met, that traditions are supported and developed, and that social functions are a success.

Providers are very likely more than ten percent of the population, and this is very fortunate for the rest of us, because friendly social service is a key to their nature. Highly cooperative themselves, Providers are skilled in maintaining teamwork among their helpers, and are also tireless in their attention to the details of furnishing goods and services. They make excellent chairpersons in charge of social events. They are without peer as masters of ceremonies, able to approach others with ease and confidence, and seemingly aware of what everyone’s been doing. And they are outstanding hosts or hostesses, able to remember people’s names, usually after one introduction, and always concerned about the needs of their guests, wanting to insure that all are involved and provided for.

Providers are extremely sensitive to the feelings of others, which makes them perhaps the most sympathetic of all the types, but which also leaves them rather self-conscious, that is, highly sensitive to what others think of them. Because of this Providers can be crushed by personal criticism, and will work most effectively when given ample appreciation both for themselves personally and for the service they give to others. This is not to say that Providers are afraid to express their own emotional reactions. They are quick to like and dislike—and don’t mind saying so—tending to put on a pedestal whatever or whoever they admire, and to come down hard on those people and issues they don’t care for.

In their choice of careers, Providers may lean toward sales and service occupations. They have such pleasant, outgoing personalities that they are far and away the best sales reps, not only regularly winning sales contests, but earning seniority in any sales group within an organization. Observing ESFJs at work in a sales transaction reveals clearly how this type personalizes the sale. They are visibly—and honestly—concerned with their customer’s welfare, and thus the customer is not simply buying the product, but is buying personally from the Provider. This same characteristic causes them to be good in many people-to-people jobs, as teachers, clergy, coaches, social workers, office receptionists, and so on. Providers seldom become a source of irritation in the workplace; on the contrary, they are unflagging in their devotion to their company, and show such personal loyalty to their immediate superiors that they make invaluable personal secretaries.

description by J. Butt (hahaha)
1 - yes. 2 - yes. 3 - very yes, minus the performance crap. none of the stuff after that seems to make any sense.

Guardians of birthdays, holidays and celebrations, ESFJs are generous entertainers. They enjoy and joyfully observe traditions and are liberal in giving, especially where custom prescribes.

All else being equal, ESFJs enjoy being in charge. They see problems clearly and delegate easily, work hard and play with zest. ESFJs, as do most SJs, bear strong allegiance to rights of seniority. They willingly provide service (which embodies life's meaning) and expect the same from others.

ESFJs are easily wounded. And when wounded, their emotions will not be contained. They by nature "wear their hearts on their sleeves," often exuding warmth and bonhomie, but not infrequently boiling over with the vexation of their souls. Some ESFJs channel these vibrant emotions into moving dramatic performances on stage and screen.

Strong, contradictory forces consume the ESFJ. Their sense of right and wrong wrestles with an overwhelming rescuing, 'mothering' drive. This sometimes results in swift, immediate action taken upon a transgressor, followed by stern reprimand; ultimately, however, the prodigal is wrested from the gallows of their folly, just as the noose tightens and all hope is lost, by the very executioner!

An ESFJ at odds with self is a remarkable sight. When a decision must be made, especially one involving the risk of conflict (abhorrent to ESFJs), there ensues an in-house wrestling match between the aforementioned black-and-white Values and the Nemesis of Discord. The contender pits self against self, once firmly deciding with the Right, then switching to Prudence to forestall hostilities, countered by unswerving Values, ad exhaustium, winner take all.

As caretakers, ESFJs sense danger all around--germs within, the elements without, unscrupulous malefactors, insidious character flaws. The world is a dangerous place, not to be trusted. Not that the ESFJ is paranoid; 'hyper-vigilant' would be more precise. And thus they serve excellently as protectors, outstanding in fields such as medical care and elementary education.

hmm, i think i fixed it. it was something as simple as having the wrong path for the archives to be published to. it could have been something a little more complicated...

so how come no one has helped me answer the question of what Herbert the raging bipolar dolphin is sitting in? who's got my back?

i know very little about computers. unix is a struggle for me, i don't really know what linux is, or why suns are different, or what an xterm client is. i have trouble using hspice because it's all done in unix and i never remember the commands. i remember vaguely thinking i'd major in CS when i first got here. intro to java was easy, but data structures made me all weepy like a little girl.

i can sort of figure things out if i play around with them long enough. but it's not usually worth the effort. i don't get how some people just know this stuff. my blog took awhile to set up, and it's not very pretty, but i didn't feel like fooling around with the HTML to fix anything.

the point of this is, if my blog template did not come with titles, how can i add them in? so i can put a title on every post, that is. and stoops, i don't know why the archives have only published the first week. that is odd. i'm going to try to figure that out now.

this should be really cool. phil, aka philip wayland coakley, aka pwc35, really wants to see princess mononoke. he's also in charge of the lerner theater. there's a good chance of a princess mononoke viewing in the lerner cinema on some evening of the next week. it's such a good movie.

thanks to everyone for coming last night! it turned into sort of a party. however, i feel like there was something vaguely wrong with the proceedings... (note: i actually do "feel" this, rather than think it) i can't quite figure it out yet. i think i need some time to crystallize whatever it is.

so far though, there are a few suspects. the people, the disorganization, the beer - leading to some secondary reasons, such as my losing money, and my having a slight headache this morning. i think poker doesn't mix well with party.

i think the next poker game i get together will be more serious. a set time, a set number of players, and a sober atmosphere. poker doesn't work the way i like it with lots of people, arriving at staggered times, and some not really knowing the rules.

i'm not talking about anyone in particular! if i was, i'd name you. and i'm not trying to be mean.

i hope i'm not just bitter because i lost money. i don't think i am. but from now on, i'm going to try to keep poker and partying separate.

regardless, i will probably try to organize some more beer drinking this weekend. without the poker. we'll do something that doesn't require so much concentration.

other thoughts:
grace's friend miriam hated me right away! i've never actually felt such instant dislike. it was kind of funny.
kelsey's friend bonnie was offended by my attitude. asking her not to bend the cards, and starting over on a misdeal. does that make me anal retentive? one reason i'm going to keep poker serious in the future. anal retentive serious.

sai is not pregnant. i don't know who started that rumor.

grace, thank you for winning those last 2 hands. i think i would have been down over 15 dollars instead of just 11 and change, if you hadn't played for me.

dave, mike, raj, sorry you guys lost so much money. jeez, that was ridiculous.

I just had some time so I thought I would take a moment to proclaim my undying love for Kelsey. Let's not kid around, she's the best. I can't believe I didn't jump out of bed to go drinking with her last night. Incredible. Eliza Dushku has nothing on her. Yeah, I think I'm gonna stop typing so I can just sit here and think about how she defines cool.

i am glad my post about frisbee elicited some thoughtful comments. dave made an excellent point by citing matt as a paragon of intensity and spirit at the same time. i love matt. so i'll try to be more like him. matt, where are you? we beat princeton for you!

london is correct. herbert the manic dolphin is not, as a matter of fact, reclining in a comfortable chaise lounge. This is what a chaise lounge looks like. It's also how to build one out of pine, if one is so inclined. Now this begs the question of what Herbert the mildly schizophrenic dolphin is sitting in.

can anyone explain the origins of the phrase, "begs the question?" odd...

there's something weird about whatever protections are on my internet at work, so i get publishing errors when i try there. so i won't be updating during the day, sorry. there's a decent likelihood of me posting, however, i just have to wait until 5pm to publish them.

austin, what do we name this drunken dolphin sea captain? i think he's been lying dead in that chair for over a day now. and london says it's not a chaisse lounge. and is that how you spell it?

sorry about not making last night another heavy drinking night. i came back early from trivia night, and i think i fell asleep before midnight. funny thing is, i get a call from kelsey and tricia at who knows what time asking me if i'm drinking heavily because they want to. sorry.

i'm sleepy.

wow. i found a really cool site through a bunch of links. i think i originally started at matrix essays, but i found this. it has a ton of really cool stuff about joseph campbell's "The Hero with a Thousand Faces" and tolkien's the lord of the rings and frank herbert's dune. really cool. if you've read any of these it's worth checking out. there's a bunch of star wars stuff too, but my favorite is the section on the lord of the rings.

oh my god. the new guy. eliza dushku. oh my god. eliza dushku. oh my god. bikinis. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god.

i just watched "miller's crossing" with austin. we were in kim's, and he was thinking about buying it. then one of us noticed MARCIA GAY HARDEN on the dvd cover, and if that's not a sign from god, then i don't know what is. it's really good. second coen brothers movie. kind of depressing. not on a requiem for a dream level, but still, i don't think i'd want to watch that again anytime within a year or more.

i still don't know how i feel about frisbee. one weird thing is that i dislike calling it "ultimate." it's supposed to be a joke sort of self-deprecating thing, i know, but something about it doesn't sit well with me. i mean, for the most part, it's a bunch of cross country and track dweebs who are too goofy to play a real sport. of course, some teams take it to a level of athleticism that rivals professional sports. but i mean, it's a game without refs, and the core of the rules is "the spirit of the game." if someone calls a foul, it's a foul. you're supposed to be nice. but at the higher levels, people are competitive, and when dave tells a story about how new york's bench cleared out during a game, it makes me kind of sad. and when bill blinn started playing with new york, it showed. during scrimmages at practice, he would run right into people he was marking. i don't think you're supposed to do that. it's tougher d, and coach was saying how everyone should start showing that intensity, but i don't like it.

i just want to fool around. i like tossing, and i like pickup with my friends back home. i kind of enjoy swilly, goofy frisbee. i'm not very competitive. now, i think that's because i'm not very good, and if i was, that would be a completely different story. but i don't really get intense, and i don't have a competitive mentality. i like being part of good plays, and i like scoring, but i don't think i'd like skying an opponent and embarassing him (if i could, that is). that's not why i want to play. bleh.

i didn't join summer league because i hear about all the club players who get so into it. that seems so sad to me. a bunch of 30 year olds who play because they have nothing better to do. that's probably untrue and unfair for 90% of the guys, but i bet it holds true for some. and i don't want to play with or against assholes. and i don't want to be competitive. it especially seemed a bad idea whenever everyone else talked about it. one example is, for dave's birthday, when we were all at brother jimmy's bbq eat shack, or whatever, when everyone asked each other if they'd registered yet, and bill was telling mike how he really ought to sign up. but no one asked me, and that seemed like a sign that i should just leave it alone. i might be reading too much out of that, but it's just a feeling i got.

my throws are much better than when i started spring of sophomore year. now, that's not hard, i was terrible. but i would say they're usually pretty dependable now. that doesn't come from any drive to improve and compete, though, i just like tossing. so i toss a lot, and i think that's why. i'm still fast, so i don't bother with that. as far as endurance goes... that's my weak point. and my height, but i can't do anything about that. increasing my vertical a few inches would be futile, i think. as long as my guy doesn't go deep, i can cover anyone on the in cuts. my marking could be better too, i guess.

i think i did pretty well this weekend. when i wanted to, i made cuts, catches, and throws of reasonable goodness. i thew at least 2 goals, one to lightshow, and one that was way too high but austin saved with a pretty sweet catch. i swatted down a dump from some poor guy who didn't know what he was doing. i don't get as many d blocks as i used to, i think i've become even lazier than when i started. i should work on that. i caught a bunch of goals (a lot more than 2, thankfully. i like catching it in the end zone so i don't have to throw it) and i picked up some swilly trash. i think mainly it's about getting into it. it seems like as soon as i decide to do something, i make some pretty decent plays. so more than anything else, i'll work on my mentality. without becoming a prick. and i'll keep tossing, because it's fun.

i don't know where this is going, or where it went, or where it is now. i just rambled a lot. did you read all of this? feel free to tell me how you feel about "ultimate."

i almost forgot. mary, i know you've received my email, and you suck for not responding yet. i better get something tomorrow.

i really want a teddy bear, or some sort of stuffed animal. i think i was a wussy child, because i loved stuffed animals, and i had way too many for a healthy, heterosexual boy. but i gave them all to my brother when he had his first daughter. although i think he just threw them in his basement... grr. so i don't have any more anymore. but for next time my birthday comes up, or if you still owe me a birthday gift, get me a stuffed animal. or something to feed my gambling addiction, like poker chips.

i now have a 30 rack of budweiser. and a 30 rack of coors light. sitting in my room. it needs to be drunk. i'm not made of beer, or money, so i'm going to have to ask anyone who is willing to help me drink them to help me pay for them also. but i'll send out some emails about this. by the way, this is all the fault of that grace girl, who doesn't read this blog, so there's no real point to insulting her, anyways. she does have a nice butt, though. doesn't she, ben? but he doesn't read this either, so i have to hope other people understand the joke.

i haven't posted in a while. i'll try to post, if not three times a day, at least with some sort of regularity. i don't know.

i went to wildwood this weekend. lots of fun. lots of pain too. but i think the fun outweighed whatever discomfort was involved. i can now say i've done these things:

1) played beach ultimate
2) peed in the ocean
3) been to atlantic city (i think i went when i was smaller once, but that doesn't really count)

i still haven't caught a scoober from corey for a goal, because he sucks. but that's a different story.

i got to know grace josephine jane carter, whom i'd never really talked to before. she's nice, and i like her, because she took a rather large helping of good natured ribbing from me without getting offended or upset even once. i don't think. she punched me once, but not very hard. and this is for an entire weekend too.

and in the words of jess, "that girl is really weird. heh heh heh." or however you type out a jess kind of chuckle.

that means he thinks she's cute. i think he's right.

i like london now. i used to think she was awful (sorry london! but i don't think you read this), but that was when i didn't think she was genuine. now i think she is being sincere pretty much all the time, even though she can switch from really sweet to really evil in no time at all. i don't know if i'm right at all, but i'll go with it until something proves me wrong.

oh, i lost $10 on slots, in case you're curious. all the tables were $25 minimum bets. boo.

i like ben too. my first impression of ben when he joined the team, was that he was cocky, or arrogant, or something. he's not, though. and for some odd reason, we have things in common. d&d? how the hell did that happen? and when i asked mary to go see dashboard confessional this september (they're at roseland the 4th and 5th), ben sent out an email to everyone about 10 minutes after i emailed mary about going to see that show. weird. and whenever i say some girl is insanely hot, he agrees. and he likes south park. and he wants to go to mohegan sun, or foxwoods, or somewhere.

if i have a completely different topic i want to write about, should i start a new post? or do i just tack it onto this one? can't... decide...

it's been a long time since i've blogged. as i knew i eventually would, i think i've burned out on it. i don't know. there's a bunch of different reasons, that i don't feel the need to go into. i don't feel comfortable with who might be reading it, first of all. and i'm lazy. maybe while i'm at work, i'll break down and do some more.

to anyone who is worried, i'm fine. just because i decide i want to go binge drinking two or three times a week does not have to mean i am upset about something. thanks for the concern, though.

fucking blogger. fucking publishing errors. i'm really getting annoyed with this new format.

"it's all right, it's ok. there's something to live for. jesus told me so." - from the short film "Coven" (rhymes with woven, not oven, and i know it's wrong). that film is part of the documentary "American Movie," which is really worth checking out.

i feel so much better now. so much better. i sobbed like a fucking child and now i can smile. things really aren't so bad. and yeah. who's wondering what i could possibly be talking about? heh, suckas.

tomorrow - D&D
friday - poker or bar. preferably both.
saturday - bar
sunday - bar
monday - bar, maybe?

this is my schedule so far. if you think of something better, share. i'm game for anything.

i just picked up 8 DVDs that i had ordered from columbiahouse. they are, in no particular order:

equilibrium - christian bale!
predator - jesse "the body" ventura!
10 things i hate about you - larisa oleynick!
whatever it takes - marla sokoloff!
mars attacks - aliens?
idle hands - JESSICA FUCKING ALBA
mystery men - ben stiller, i guess
keeping the faith - jenna elfman is pretty cute

if you want to see any of these movies, please tell me. i need the company.

let's see, 2 action movies, 3 teen movies, 2 comedies, and 1 romantic comedy/chick flick. not bad.

i took one of those tests based on the myers briggs personality types. i am an
extraverted 33%
intuitive 11%
feeling 33%
judging 11%
person.

i don't seem to have very strong inclinations (the percentages). i don't have any frame of reference though, so i'm not too sure. the other ones are introverted sensing thinking perceiving.

so i'm an idealist (NF), and more specifically a teacher (ENFJ)? i don't get it. that doesn't really sound like me. here's some stuff i thought was good, though.

"The Idealist most committed to guiding others through the doors of life, or along the pathways of learning and understanding, is the type that Keirsey has named the Teacher (Myers's "ENFJ").
Teachers bring all this infectious energy to their intimate relationships as well, and they make passionate and delightfully creative companions. However, at such close range the intensity of their wishes for their loved ones can create interpersonal conflict. Teachers can overwhelm their loved ones with their exuberance, and with their Pygmalion presumption that everyone wants to be helped along the path of self-discovery. Then, when their loved ones either resist their pressure or fail to meet their idealistic expectations, Teachers can feel frustrated, disillusioned, or even betrayed by the persons they care most about. "

"Teachers expect the very best of those around them, and this expectation, usually expressed as enthusiastic encouragement, motivates action in others and the desire to live up to their expectations. Teachers have the charming characteristic of taking for granted that their expectations will be met, their implicit commands obeyed, never doubting that people will want to do what they suggest. And, more often than not, people do, because this type has extraordinary charisma."

i don't know about the charisma. but i agree with the expectations. why can't you all be as good as me?

"ENFJs know and appreciate people. Like most NFs, (and Feelers in general), they are apt to neglect themselves and their own needs for the needs of others. They have thinner psychological boundaries than most, and are at risk for being hurt or even abused by less sensitive people. ENFJs often take on more of the burdens of others than they can bear."

i wish i was that nice.

try the test. it's a good way to kill time at work, and it feels more credible than thespark.com or something like that.

mary, you're very special to me. i love you.

how's that?

i'm sorry for being such a jerk to everyone all the time. i know it must get old after a while, my whole personality. and despite everyone complimenting my honesty, or whatever you want to call it, even i get sick of myself every so often. i used to think i had a pretty good sense of humor, but i'm not so sure about that anymore. it's nice to know that my friends are there when i ask them to be, even though i've been mad at everyone for months now. this applies to a whole bunch of people, so don't anyone go thinking you're special.

i changed my blog name again. here are the lyrics if you're curious. mary, that's weird that you were reading this blog at the same time as me.

here i stand, head in hand
turn my face to the wall
if she's gone i can't go on
feeling two foot small
everywhere people stare
each and every day
i can see them laugh at me
and i hear them say
hey! you've got to hide your love away
hey! you've got to hide your love away
how can i even try?
i can never win
hearing them, seeing them
in the state i'm in
how can she say to me
"love will find a way"
gather round all you clowns
let me hear you say
hey! you've got to hide your love away
hey! you've got to hide your love away

makes me want to see I am Sam.

oh yes, i almost forgot:

5. 8 July 04:42 SingNet Pte Ltd, Singapore
6. 8 July 04:43 Univerity of Portsmouth, Portsmouth, United Kingdom

who the hell are you?

i changed my blog's name. 50 points to anyone who gets the reference. (and no, i won't give harry potter 20 points, hermione 20 points, ron 9 points, and neville 1.0000001 fucking points so they end up stealing the goddamn house cup right out from under you)

so now that the past year and a half of my life was really just an incredible waste of time, i'm sort of wondering what to do with it. watch movies? play video games? and those are supposed to be the fun things. why am i just killing time until i die... can anyone explain that to me?

edit: sorry about that.

back, finally. i suck at bowling. old school is really funny. duffman says a lot of things.

makiko: thanks
jillian: do work
amanda: why?
jess: you're the bitch, bitch
stoops: nah, it wasn't the song

i just went to see pearl jam at the tweeter center last night. that's near boston. oh man. it was so amazing. they didn't play a bunch of songs i wanted, but that would be impossible, because they still played all good songs. once, yellow bedletter, rear view mirror, alive, daughter, release. i really wish they had played better man, though. or wishlist, or given to fly, or elderly woman behind the counter in a small town. so amazing. i wanted to have sex with eddie after that. and they played so many songs. they played a 5 song encore, then maybe 3 more in a second encore. i love eddie.

i'll be back in the city on sunday night, i guess.

i have lost the will to post.

all around me are familiar faces
worn out places
worn out faces
bright and early for the daily races
going nowhere
going nowhere
their tears are filling up their glasses
no expression
no expression
hide my head i want to drown my sorrow
no tomorrow
no tomorrow

everyone owes it to him or her self to check this out. hilarious. this guy is ugly and cynical and mean. he hates himself, too, i think. the editing room, soulholders, and so on are all hilarious, but my favorite is the virgin one. go to it. laugh. cry. i kept forgetting to post this incredible website up, i'm sorry for that.

ok, so dreams. i've been listening to "mad world" now for 2 days straight, it's the only thing on my playlist. suicide, death, despair? nope. nothing wrong with my dreams, even. 2 nights ago i remember dreaming i found the project soulmates website mirrored somewhere on their message board and i was really happy. then last night i dreamed i was playing zhu in super smash brothers, but kirby wasn't working right. until i realized we were playing the gamecube version and that was why. pretty crazy stuff, eh?

what's everyone doing for this july 4? this is a question for the people not staying in new york. i'm curious if you have friends at home.