wsop

i have trouble watching it. there are 3 times as many entrants into the main event this year, rougly 2400 as opposed to 839 in 2003. so many things bother me: phil hellmuth, chris moneymaker, waching a moron pick up his straight on the river and congratulating himself, and seeing the pros get beat by the amateurs. no one understands how much mental damage poker did to me senior year. usually things went down as they should, but whenever it came to an all-in showdown between me and someone else, i would lose. and i'd have the better hand, almost every time. you all probably think i only remember the bad ones, and i'm exaggerating, but i am NOT. it didn't matter if my opponent was drawing to a straight, or had only _one_ out after the flop (3/47 then 3/46), they would win. or rather, i would lose. call it negative thinking, but i took beat-down after beat-down in that EC common room.

i'm not saying i'm a pro that played with amateurs. but that's how it keeps happening on the wsop. i know my probabilities, and i played almost every hand like i should, but it didn't matter.

really, you can't understand. you just can't.

fear factor

i don't know when fear factor made the transition to gross factor, but i think it was around the same time as it made the transition to super hot chicks with huge boobs. really, that should - and probably would, were this show from japan - be the name: super hot chicks with huge boobs eating nasty shit.

the episode i just watched was couples fear factor, and one girl was ok, two were cute, one was really cute, one was really cute with gigantic breasts, and one was super hot. this upsets me. i'm not positive why, but i've got a guess. all those hot movie stars are unattainable; there is an impassable barrier between me and them. on the other hand, these girls are all dating regular schmoes. but they might as well be on the moon, because these regular guys are tall and pretty. even if they are douchebags, which probability dictates some of the guys on the show are. i'd rather the unattainable are unattainable, rather than the attainable be unattainable. and barring my becoming fabulously wealthy, famous, or tall, it's going to be this way forever.

the gift

i flipped by the graham norton effect the other night, and it must be doing pretty well. it had jon voight katie holmes and josh hartnett all on at once. those are fairly big names? although i don't think any of them have any projects going on right now. and katie holmes can't get a good movie role to save her life.

she's totally hot. some people disagree, right? i can see why... her face looks like its been afflicted with multiple strokes. she has this droopy faced retarded smile going on. but she's still hot. how does that work, anyway?

so true

michelle, fry's unfrozen ex-girlfriend from the year 2000, is trying to convince him to freeze himself with her so they'll be alone in the year 4000.

michelle: fry, i love you. don't you love me?
fry: well, sure. to the extent a man can love a woman.

i will be lonely until the day i die.

upn = classy

buffy moved to upn from wb after season 5. i'm making my way through s6, albeit slowly. anyone see the episode with the invisible buffy? spike totally grabs her cooch (before she turns see-through)! cootch? through her jeans, but that was definitely full on cootchy contact! and there' s a sex scene with the invisible buffy. so weird. i really don't think the fcc approves of cooch grabbing.

my glorious reign

i started this rant off by saying something along the lines of, i wish i was a god. the following ensued. or the ensuing followed. take your pick.
Nephratari 1: what kind of god would you be?
ericthehodgeheG: the capricious god of whimsy and wanton destruction
ericthehodgeheG: and healing, maybe
ericthehodgeheG: if i had the time
Nephratari 1: haha
Nephratari 1: would you wear a little wreath crown?ericthehodgeheG: i would wear a bawdy maiden
ericthehodgeheG: on my penis
ericthehodgeheG: she has to be real bawdy though
Nephratari 1: hahaha
Nephratari 1: wouldn't that get cumbersome?
ericthehodgeheG: i guess i could capriciously destroy her if i got tired
ericthehodgeheG: and then i could heal her, if such was my whimsy
Nephratari 1: hahaha
ericthehodgeheG: wouldn't i make a good god?
Nephratari 1: i think you would make a great god
ericthehodgeheG: hells yes
ericthehodgeheG: the world would be so awesome if i was in charge
Nephratari 1: or at least bawdier
ericthehodgeheG: anyone who drives like a douchebag
ericthehodgeheG: smoten
ericthehodgeheG: anyone who won't stop making bad jokes
ericthehodgeheG: smoten
Nephratari 1: smitten?
ericthehodgeheG: you want a smoting??
ericthehodgeheG: ???
Nephratari 1: that doesn't sound quite right in context
ericthehodgeheG: when i smite people, it will be so damn hard they'll be smoten
ericthehodgeheG: even in the past perfect or whatever the hell that is
ericthehodgeheG: and you would be wise to remember that
ericthehodgeheG: lest you want a smotening
Nephratari 1: mmm yeah, smote me baby
ericthehodgeheG: hey
ericthehodgeheG: you're making it sound zestfully naughty rather than terrifyingly terrifying
ericthehodgeheG: what else would i do
ericthehodgeheG: i would make mike tyson the unholy extension of my limitless will
Nephratari 1: hahaha
Nephratari 1: why?
ericthehodgeheG: so that he would bite the heads off of all challengers and puppies that question my rule
Nephratari 1: puppies are going to question your rule?
Nephratari 1: impudent puppies
ericthehodgeheG: not unless they want a smotening
ericthehodgeheG: i'd rather smoten people because i don't want people getting it confused with being smitten in the sense of being in love
ericthehodgeheG: there will be no love
Nephratari 1: except the bawdy kind?
ericthehodgeheG: only my wrath, and stumbling headless puppies
ericthehodgeheG: oh, i guess bawdy love is cool
Nephratari 1: good gooood
Nephratari 1: it would be a serious impediment to my weekend activities if it weren't
ericthehodgeheG: but if the headless puppies receive love and adoration that should be directed at me, i'll have to tear off their legs
Nephratari 1: yes, it is only right
ericthehodgeheG: i wonder if i can become god by some sort of majority vote
Nephratari 1: nooo
Nephratari 1: hostile coup! hostile coup i say!
ericthehodgeheG: as in building my throne on the skulls of countless innocents?
Nephratari 1: mm yeah, that'll work

2 things a guy should be able to ask

there are two things that a guy should just be able to ask, under certain circumstances, without embarassment or repercussions. someone ought to pass a law.

1) when a guy and a girl are first flirting -
guy: so... do you have ridiculous amounts of baggage? anything i should know?

2) when a guy and a girl have broken up, but are still hanging out -
guy: so... do you wanna have sex again?

i want a sleipnir

ericthehodgeheG: if i had 3 crows as pets, i would name them memory sorrow and thorn
The Lexicologist: word
ericthehodgeheG: and an 8 legged horse
ericthehodgeheG: that would be totally sweet
The Lexicologist: .
The Lexicologist: man, my place in rooster is gonna be raucously sweet when it's all set up
ericthehodgeheG: sweet like d&d stuff all over the place, or sweet like 6 fly honeys in the hot tub at all times
The Lexicologist: probably more of the former
The Lexicologist: I brought _everything_ with me
ericthehodgeheG: it must be nice knowing the place will be yours for longer than 9 months
The Lexicologist: I think I have the equivalent of a dungeon master's guide for 5 different versions of D&D

presents!

i'm so happy right now. i just read the synopsis of book 1 of the otherland series - it's at least 4 books, according to the inside cover of book 2 :) - included with book 2. the first book was so great. i really feel like a kid at christmas. that's how good it is. i only picked it up because i was so damn bored and needed a new book to read and book 2 was a bargain book in hardcover, so i got that and book 1. such a great find. i haven't felt this good about a series in a long time. to give you an idea of how engaging it is, i got them on thursday around 10pm, and i'm starting book 2 now. and they're LONG! my problem with good books is that i wish they lasted longer. book 1 was over 700 pages. oh frabjous joy, or some such.

i could go on and on, but who wants that? let me just say, if you like fantasy, get it. if you like the cyberpunk genre, get it. if you like both, then you probably don't have much of a social life, so why aren't you getting it yet? it's also got other cool stuff, like online gaming and egyptian gods and vastly different worlds.

so good. i'm really happy. i'm going to savor this feeling for a while before i really start book 2.

script gold + video game peeve

2 things i heard on tv today that tickled me in various ways:

on the justice league. hawk is talking to wonder woman regarding Annihilator, a war machine/juggernaut/golem forged by the god Hephaestus for Ares. by the way, the volume of lewd comments from Hephaestus to wonder woman about how he could let out her armor a little was pretty funny. plus, that little commercial where super girl zooms right up to the criminal's scope so he's got a 10x magnification on her chest is along the same lines.

Hawk: there's no one inside that thing! how do you fight that?
Wonder Woman: you hit it until it breaks.

you gotta admire the woman's direct problem-solving attitude. and breasts.

on what a girl wants, mother Kelly Preston and daughter Amanda Bynes share a moment.

preston: i love you a million swedish fish
bynes: i love you a million red m&ms

if someone ever tried to steal that for use in actual real life, they need to burn. for all eternity. amanda bynes is _hot_, albeit in an odd chubby faced manner that not all guys "get."

on a different note:
it upsets me when the only way game designers can ramp up the difficulty on a single-player version of a game is to make the game "unfair." there are no hikes in the ai of the opponent(s). the singular way they can manage to add to the challenge is to make the game unbalanced in the computer's favor.

in soul caliber, as they got "harder," the computer opponents would guard impact every attack i made. that's not ai, that's just allowing the computer to use it's processor speed to time every guard perfectly. it plays less like a skilled human opponent and more like an algorithm.

i now hate dmx because of def jam vendetta. that pussy kept winning because he had some inordinately high charisma rating, allowing his momentum meter to rise for the most inconsequential actions. i had a higher score than him every time he KOed me. i finally knocked him out after losing at least 3 15 minute matches. what a bitch.

girly music

in the summer of 2002, i went to see weezer at the tommy hilfiger theater on long island. i took liz; i asked her before i realized i didn't have to try very had with her. one of the opening acts was this band i'd never heard of... dashboard confessional. liz liked them though, and she seemed to enjoy it. it turned out to be this one guy on the huge stage all by himself playing his acoustic guitar. raj has said how much he hates the tommy hilfiger theater, and for good reason - the acoustics are terrible. you can't hear shit there. plus it gets freezing after the sun sets. so i couldn't hear _anything_ from him. plus, some guy - strangely enough, a long island moronic jockish looking teenage boy - sitting fairly close to us was screaming along and drowning out any sound that might have reached us from the stage. but, there was something compelling about this man standing alone on stage with his acoustic guitar singing his heart out (you could tell he was, even if you couldn't hear a thing) to a mass of people who weren't even there to see him, and most of whom couldn't hear him anyways.

when i got back to school in the fall, mary was in a dashboard confessional phase. she went through periods of having as few as 4 songs on her playlist and repeating them for hours, and her newest kick was this band.

i don't know what it says about me (probably something bad), but i can almost always find something i like about any song, if someone else has told me that they like it. i don't know what it is, maybe i am some sort of musical parasite with no taste of my own. but what makes the most sense to me, and also doesn't sound quite so distasteful, is that i am really empathic. if i know that a song or a group means something to someone else, i usually feel something for it too. is that too weird?

and so, sissy music. guys hate it. i won't make an absolute statement here, because those are never (heh) true, but i think almost all guys really do like some of it, sometimes. i mean, there are always those scenes in movies where the guys start slowly singing along to the radio while driving along. there was one in harold and kumar, even. i mean, those come from somewhere. i remember joe mujalli, possibly the funniest kid in my high school, while on the physics trip to riverside (aka six flags NE), stopping midstride and cocking his head to listen to that six pence none the richer song in "she's all that," and shushing everyone. he was a huge football player, good enough to get into harvard (he was also decently intelligent). it was a joke, it was funny, but i bet he really likes that song.

i listen to sissy music. occasionally. some is borderline and does not make me an outright pussy. dashboard confessional has to be on the end of some spectrum, though. i even went to a concert once. i bought the tickets so i could bring mary. she couldn't go because she had a problem set. someone told me later that eytan was over there that night, but i'm not going to start in that direction. back to the concert... so many 14-year old girls with their hearts on their sleeves. way too much emotion and hormones for a small concert venue. why do they listen to this shit? it's depressing. it's sad. it makes me feel like shit, personally, whenever i listen to it. but i still do, sometimes. kinda like how you listen to counting crows if you feel depressed and want to feel more depressed.

mostly what i wanted to say when i started this post is how i hate the music, even though i really don't. which makes me hate it more. i like it, even though it is depressing and it reminds me of times when i listened to it because i was depressed, or maybe it's when i was depressed because i listened to it. who knows. what i'm saying is, for a good while of college, i was not happy, and now i am overall pretty happy and carefree, and i don't like being reminded of that shitty period.

i was in barnes and noble the other day, and they must have been playing an entire album by some girl, and i was listening to it against my will, almost. so i'd be browsing through the shelves, and paying attention to the lyrics, although trying not to, which made me want to punch something, or myself. i even looked up a snippet of lyrics that stuck out, and it turned out to be lisa loeb. god, i am such a sissy. stopping now. (the posting. the being a sissy too, if i can swing it)

aptitude > effort or trying or crap

i just attended the most boring "training session" in my life. i'm in the process of becoming an SAT tutor for summit sat prep. my saturday, 9am - 3pm, gone. not to mention the 30-40 minute drive each way.

the session was tolerable. out of the six, i was the only one without a graduate degree. one person had a masters in business, two had masterses in public health - THREE if you count the teacher of the session (why? what were they thinking?), one a masters in english, and one had a law degree. yet, i still felt like the smartest person there. i'm almost certain i was. a lot of them had trouble with simple arithmetic (they're teaching the verbal only), and they all took forever to do the annoying little practice exercises in our training coursebook. and one kept asking inane questions concerning the worst possible scenarios that could come up. i think she is expecting all of her tutees and their parents to be formed of the blackest black evil.

i'm also now officially an LSAT tutor for ltsprep, a company based in New York but with a nation-wide client base. i taught my first session with my first student on friday. not very hard. i just explained a bunch of the games to him.

i'm also signed up for the educator licensure examination in massachusetts. i like the idea of teaching high school subjects. being very qualified for something for a change feels pretty good. the exam is on the auspicious september 11, so i'll be back in longmeadow around that weekend.
i love feeling smart again. going to columbia and skipping classes and missing problem sets can make a student feel less than quality. remembering that i'm 98% in math and 99% in verbal and 99% in the lsat are very nice reminders that i have so far squandered my natural talents in life. well, the whole squandering part isn't so nice, i suppose, but the smart thing is.

karma

whenever some douchebag/jerk/jackass/woman driver (yeah fuck you women, you know you're worse drivers - in general. don't give me that, some women are better drivers than some men. that is true, but your sex still sucks at driving) crashes into another car or tips over on a highway or somehow gets in an accident, the injury/death/monetary cost is not enough punishment. some omnipotent being better be taking enough sand out of their hourglass and refilling the lifetimes of everyone who consequently wastes 5 minutes - 3 hours of their time. the chain reaction caused by an accident is staggering. i don't even know the magnitude of people usually affected by a traffic jam, it might be in the 1000s, maybe even more. all that time, if life were fair and just, would be sucked from the person at fault like he or she had just smoked so many cigarettes.

if the reason for the traffic jam is people slowing down to watch an accident ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FUCKING HIGHWAY, it should go double. maybe triple. if i were a deity with power over the weather, many a lightning bolt would be thrown.

astrology

i bought an astrology book from waldenbook's a few weeks ago. it was in the bargain section. oh, what clinched it was looking up aquarius and reading that my body part(s) are the calves and ankles. this was maybe a day or two after mary told me in an email that some guy at work had calves that reminded her of me, and it was freaking her out. i mean, that is pretty weird.

the book is pretty spot on about certain things. for example, i hate circular arguing and chainstore clothing. capricorns are born old (overly mature and such), work and study hard, and are reliable, dependable people. pooja's a capricorn (much teasing potential here). there's a passage in sagittarius' description about how they are basically truthful people. _except_ when telling a story and not getting the reaction they expect, in which case they will sometimes exaggerate to outlandish lengths to get the right effect. mary's a sagittarius. but, that stuff is only a little of the total description, and some of it doesn't sound right at all. i suppose, as is usually the case with these kinds of things, that you write down enough adjectives and such, and every person will see a few that resonate. you know, if you throw enough darts, you're bound to get a bullseye.

on the whole, this astrology business is interesting. and fun. what i want to do now is get a natal chart. if anyone's interested in this kinda thing, go to Astrolabe and click on birth chart to generate a free one. they even explain some of what it means for free, too. you'll need to know the exact time of your birth, though. i asked my mom today, and she had no idea. she thinks it was in the morning. but my mom has trouble remembering my age. i think it's because she doesn't care. but then, i don't know my parents' exactly either. initially i left it at the default, noon, which left 4 of the 12 signs in the 8th house. that's the sex one. worrisome. i mean, signs can manifest their energies in bad ways too. although maybe it would be comforting as well as damning to know it's not my fault.

i just checked now what my chart would look like if i was born at 1am instead of 12pm noon. big difference... i figured maybe one or two signs would have moved. i really want to figure out my birthtime. is the only way from digging up my birth certificate?

in this 1am chart, there are NO signs in the 8th house. which could mean a notable absence of energies in the sex house. it's so easy to make anything fit.

i need to find this out. so i can blame my inadequacies on the time of my birth and the constellations, instead of accepting responsibility. wouldn't that be nice?

i just realized some might point out that the only house i talk about at all is the 8th house, the sex one. but i didn't know what any houses stood for when i first saw my chart. i just looked up that one because it had so many signs. that's what got me started. i didn't fixate on it without being pointed in that direction.

stupid 1024 character limit on profiles

i don't understand that. they're stored locally, after all, aren't they? it's because of all those people who sign on, check the profile of everybody on their buddy list, and don't talk to any of them. stupid character limit.

ericthehodgeheG: well, i did a fair number of things on my to do list already today
ericthehodgeheG: i'm going to have a well deserved poop now
hungryYumYum: too much information
hungryYumYum: good luck with that
ericthehodgeheG: BOWEL MOVEMENT
ericthehodgeheG: LARGE INTESTINE
ericthehodgeheG: SMALL INTESTINE
hungryYumYum: good lord

hamgelion

this shaw island business is really great. wow. a couple strips have made me plain crack up. me, sitting in front of my computer at 3:30 in the morning, laughing out loud. good stuff. these two are prime examples. i'm not going to bother doing anything htmlish with them, i wonder what blogger will do.

http://home.myuw.net/durandal/shawisland/archive/20030605.htm

http://home.myuw.net/durandal/shawisland/archive/20030818.htm

funny

i want to put links to funny things over there, on the right. i started off with big bunny, which is awesome, and everyone should see. flash cartoons. making fiends is by the same person and different, but almost as funny. shaw island, austin just showed to me today, and it seems funny. i left out machall and penny arcade, cuz i never really read them myself.

someone, i don't remember who, had a link to this cartoon in a blog post once... it had a geeky guy and his two female friends. i remember one was from canada. one multi-comic storyline involved a production of jesus christ: superstar. i think. it was funny. what was that? stoops, amanda, was it one of you?

substitute 4

i watched this movie from the start to the finish. i will not apologize. i think it was on one of the hbos around 4am.

you know how video game reviewers always make a crack when a game uses nazis as the villain? it is a little overdone. but they are as black and white a villain as one can hope for in a human being. all that hate and intolerance and anger... it doesn't make any sense how people like that can actually exist, but hey, then i don't have to feel bad slaughtering them by the dozens with my gatling gun or whatnot. movies do it too. i'm sure y'all can name a popular trilogy featuring a hatted whippy archaeology professor (how the hell is that spelled) pitted against an army of the bastards.

substitute 4 brought an ingenious modern twist to that tired old nazi villain approach with the use of neo-nazis. bam! that got me by surprise. the final showdown consists of the evil colonel (that makes me angry. why isn't it kernel?) in charge of the military academy charging at the fair-minded substitute teacher with a cavalry saber while his newly enlightened students gun him down. his last words? "RACIAL PURITY!" and after he finally slumps to the ground and does not get back up, the substitute gazes up at the american flag, billowing in the wind.

the movie was made tolerable (heh) by angie everheart and a barmaid being all topless for various sex scenes. although angie seems to have matured, much like a wine that's getting too old.

the main thing that made me want to post was that the neo-nazis within the school were all in a special company called "the werewolves." doesn't that seem strange? for a sect fanatical about staying pure, they pick as the name of their company a human that is cursed to change into an animal with the full moon. and the curse is transferred by bite, which suggests impurity. i'd think. shouldn't they have picked something white?

generic title

i'm certain that i find myself funnier than other people find me. which is all right, i guess. that's better than not amusing myself. because which is more important, really? what benefit do i get from making someone else smile? screw you guys.

that went off into a meaner direction than i originally envisioned. this example i'm posting, which is the reason i logged in, should, you know, be a good example.

from amanda's blog:

"[drivel drivel babble inane ramblings]
It will be exciting. It will be something new. Laissez les bons temps roleur.
-la muppet"

my comment:
"the only word i got there was les. some girl girl action in new orleans eh? take pictures."

that's really not that funny. but i can't stop grinning whenever i look at it. back in my college days, after i posted on the newsgroup, i would almost always revisit my post and read it over a couple of times while mentally patting myself on the back. i love it.

blogger ought to implement a little piece of code so i can put "insert title here" in carrots up in the title field and get a suitably contemplative randomly generated title.

waste of time

yes, it is 8am, and yes, i just did a stupid online survey. let me just say it took me a minute or two to answer Sloth #6, on account of the uncontrollable shuddering that ensued upon reading eunji's response. i cut them all out. you'll thank me. eunji, if you read this, i'm sorry, but, eh, i guess i'm not really.

[7]deadly.sins

Stolen from Eunji:

ANGER
1. Who did you last get angry with? my selfish thoughtless lazy brother.
2. What is your weapon of choice? longsword. or katana. it's that damn exotic weapon proficiency...
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? in a second.
4. How about of the same sex? even easier.
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? my selfish thoughtless lazy brother.
6. What is your pet peeve? taken from my astrology bargain book: chain store clothing, circular arguing, people who try to be stereotypes, and authoritarian bosses
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? oh yes. i keep them close to my heart.

SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? floss, maybe? but i had no cavities last checkup. no frisbee in a while, i guess.
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? i'll go with 4pm. who knows.
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't? Nancy. Jon Rohrbach.
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? er, they're all lame.
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? No.
6. When was the last time you got a good workout? i really don't know. it'd have to be either my last frisbee practice or my last frisbee party.
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? Don't use an alarm clock. Not even in college. heh. yeah attendance.

GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? bullshit. i'll eat shit before i pay 6 dollars for a drink.
2. Meat eaters: white meat or red meat? red red red.
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? I'd say between two to three times my stomach's actual capacity. hence the vomiting.
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? ha.
5. Do you have an issue with your weight? ha.
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? spicy, but oh it burns. later.
7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought "Food!"? kinda, but just because wiener dogs are called wiener dogs.

LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? in person? uh... embarassing. let me pad my count. we'll say 4. i'm only doing chicks here because i'm pretty sure i've never seen anyone's schlong, but too many asses.
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)? i'll go with that same 4.
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? all the time.
4. Have you "done it"? sure.
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? i'll go with da butt.
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? heh.
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? nope.

GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own? discover, and that's all i need, dammit. 1% cashback!
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? i don't have guilty pleasures?
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? buy one of those fucking halo edition xboxes. and a virtual on cyber troopers arcade machine for 1.5k. and then i'd laugh at all of my poor friends.
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? done and done.
6. Have you ever stolen anything? interesting story.
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? maybe 20 albums' worth.

PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? i like my 172 on the LSAT. yeah aptitude.
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? getting into columbia.
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? work with video games somehow as a career that's not coding.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? that would entail being higher than last... interesting.
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? $20 from garrett? all video games are like this. i am a god.
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? whenever i can get away with it.
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? nuttin.

ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? i'm going to stay away from this one.
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? this question confuses me.
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? someone with a great rack.
4. Have you ever been cheated on? i think so? maybe not technically. it was girl on girl. oh, and it's not the girl most people would guess. whoa, maybe it's me...
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? taller much?
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? work ethic.
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey? that's just sad.

FAITH
1. What religion do you follow? nonpracticing buddhist, more or less
2. What religion were you raised as? guess.
3. Do you believe that forgiveness is a religious property, or a human property? human.
4. Do you believe in magic? nah.
5. What was the last promise you broke? who knows.
6. Have you ever said the words to a prayer and not meant it? no.
7. Do you believe that anyone could be perfect? no.

HOPE
1. Did you get everything you wanted over the last holiday season? cash is kind of everything i want.
2. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for? disposable income.
3. Do you let yourself get your hopes up for something even if you know that there is a large chance of failure? i am well aware of my shortcomings, and the resultant rejections.
4. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket? yeah.
5. Do you gamble? love that poker. except it hates me now.
6. Have you ever had something called off on account of bad weather, but then gone ahead and done it anyway? no?

what the

what's a major-domo? and why is a mailer-daemon a daemon? weirdass coders.

warning

this post has mature subject matter.

apropos of nothing, of course, but i have trouble understanding threesomes, or orgies, or any situation where the guy has more than one girl to choose from, in porn. my posting this does not mean i just watched porn. far from it. i am awake at 6am not to watch porn and whatever that leads to. honestly, i opened the file, and then closed it because posting seemed like more fun. stop judging me. but to get back to the point, and that is: if i were that lucky dude, i would still shove the other girls aside and stick with the hottest one. easy decision. only real course of action, to me. and i guess if the less attractive sluts wanted to lick my testicles while i was plowing (ploughing?) the hot one, that would be all right. but they're really extraneous. superfluous? man, using words can be difficult sometimes.

maybe that's why the idea of twins has so much supposed allure. i never got it.

i don't get it

watching people on tv act selfish, and stupid, and self-delusional, and hurtful, only makes me angry. the circumstances don't matter so much. it doesn't make me feel any other emotion besides anger. oh, and some disgust. and i'll say contempt as well. hmm, i guess it stirs up a whole slew of negative emotions. is it supposed to do something else? pity, or compassion? eh.

un-abide-able

i can't stand immaturity and stupidity in tv. and movies. and books, although not as much, because pure priggishness and selfishness and so on don't convey as well when you can't loathe the person's actual face. it just bothers me. i don't see how people can be that way. it doesn't make sense to me. these people are lacking something fundamental to being a decent human being, in my eyes.

i read pet sematary recently. or, i read the first 400 pages and then skimmed the rest. i had to do that with needful things as well. some of his books are kind of crappy. the guy's a doctor, and his kid's pet dies. his new friend, the old man across the street, shows him how to bring the pet back to life. but it comes back changed. not quite evil, but disgusting and repulsive and generally all-around wrong. so of course, king makes it that the doctor's 4-year old son gets crushed and dragged for 100 yards by an 18-wheeler. the neighbor, knowing what's on his mind, tells him the story of the evil reanimated 18-year old kid. the doctor, of course, still buries his kid there. the kid comes back, kills the neighbor (of course), and his mother. the doctor kills the cat (again) and his kid (again) and (of course) knowing what just happened, brings his wife back to life. of course, the reason this book sucks is that none of this makes sense. not in the scientific/supernatural sense of the word sense, but these people are stupid. beyond stupid. beyond incredibly mind-numbingly unimaginably idiotic. grief is grief, and i'll never know what was going through the guy's head and heart, but come on. the problem is that all of this stuff that is implausible, in terms of motivation and reasons, is explained by the force that powers the Indian burial ground, or some load of crap. oh, did i forget to mention it's an indian burial ground? that's evil? and "makes" the neighbor show the doctor the graveyard in the first place? and "makes" the kid get run over? and "makes" the doctor, who to be fair is having an internal debate about bringing back his son or letting him rest, dig him up and reanimate him?

king is a hack sometimes. it's a shame that all he has to do is waggle a lamp at his agent to get his next advance.

what is coincidental about this is that i'm watching the fifth season of buffy right now, and joyce has just died. very suddenly. not unexpectedly, but still. and the little sister, an intolerable brat, is demanding that willow (a witch) bring her back to life. what the hell? she's 14. that's not old enough to be expected to act with a modicum of intelligence?

i don't think i could handle having a selfish kid. i would end up beating the holy hell out of the brat, i'm fairly certain. it just doesn't make sense, selfishness.

chimeras

austin showed me the new setting for d&d in the works, eberron. it looks cool. especially the war-forged. but it also looks kinda lame, in the, created for powergaming newbs sort of way. i think it was made with the people who buy characters in mmorpgs in mind. that's how i put it to austin, anyways. interestingly, austin started off with the art gallery. i guess that makes sense for getting a feel for a new setting. i should put a link up here, but screw you. anyways, really cool graphics *cough*war-forged*cough* - especially the house crests. the one for deneith, i think, had a chimera. cool. also cool was the mailed fist holding the lightning-ish double ended blade thing.

but seriously, what's up with the chimera? made somewhat heard of mainstream by MI:2, the code name for a three-pronged virus. creature of evil, sure. a mythical beast with three heads (evil heads), and a snake's tail (not sure about the tail, actually). that's cool. i can dig it. what creatures should i, an evil sorceror with the power and the evil capable of creating this beast, fuse together? a dragon? definitely. a lion? yeah, lions are fierce. i'm still following. and lastly, a goat. a goat?? i still don't get it. still. i said as much to austin. hell, this isn't very funny. i'm just going to paste the aim conversation here. bitches.

ericthehodgeheG: i call deneith with the chimera
The Lexicologist: it's pretty good
ericthehodgeheG: what was that stupid crazy mage thinking when he used a fucking goat
The Lexicologist: heh
ericthehodgeheG: look, the other two are roaring
The Lexicologist: goats are my favorite
ericthehodgeheG: what the fuck is the goat doing
The Lexicologist: goats are badass
The Lexicologist: he doesn't need to roar
ericthehodgeheG: it does have red eyes
The Lexicologist: because he's so kickass
ericthehodgeheG: but really, when building the ultimate composite monster
ericthehodgeheG: what does a goat contribute
The Lexicologist: HORNS!
The Lexicologist: BLEATING!
The Lexicologist: NIMBLE HOOVES!

and here's the link to the gallery, i guess. i'm just a big softee. eberron art gallery

dark cloud, check

done! 42 hours. mostly fun, but sometimes trying (go to hell mardan garayan/fish of happiness). definitely worth 2o bucks, for anyone with a PS2 and some free time. and 20 bucks.

i beat the game, which unlocked the optional challenge 100 level dungeon. no, thank you. despite the nifty sword that one receives upon completion of said dungeon, i feel no need to build up all my weapons to super ultimate maxed out status. i did build up my main character's sword to such maxedness, but i did it with many powerup powders and gems and not much hard work, so i didn't save it. i'm making sense.

i'm looking at other video games now. the wealth of solid PS2 games out there for 20 dollars or less is wonderful. almost tear-inspiring. i'm going mostly by ign ratings, and what sounds cool or not cool. there are a wealth of games that rated between 7-8 out of 10 that are 10-15 dollars. i admit, i am a sucker for cheap crap, and i would like to pad my gaming library.

what got me blogging is the incredible confusion of names that is the legacy of kain series, and its spinoff. i think. there is a legacy of kain, a blood omen, and a soul reaver. let me elaborate: there is blood omen: legacy of kain for PS and PC. there is blood omen 2: legacy of kain for gamecube, PC, PS2, and xbox. there is legacy of kain: soul reaver for PS, PC, and dreamcast. there is legacy of kain: defiance for PC, PS2, and xbox. and there is soul reaver 2: legacy of kain for PC and PS2.

which is the title, and which is the subtitle? blood omen: legacy of kain. all right. legacy of kain: soul reaver. all right... soul reaver 2: legacy of kain??? what are they trying to pull, here?? it looks like some sort of horrifying new analogy train game for the SATs. blood omen is to legacy of kain as legacy of kain is to soul reaver. soul reaver 2 is to legacy of kain as legacy of kain is to soul reaver. oh, i get it.

i'm exaggerating, but my real gripe is the switching of title and subtitle for the legacy of kain series. or is it the soul reaver series? is legacy of kain: defiance a sequel to legacy of kain: soul reaver? then why is there a game called soul reaver 2: legacy of kain? and how come that has the same subtitle as blood omen: legacy of kain?

if your head hurts, i'm sorry. if it exploded, i'm more sorry.

the village, again

this is long. i wonder who will read it. but i think it's interesting. by the way, go to rottentomatoes.com if you want to see how awfully this film has been received. so much of what those critics wrote is exactly how i feel right now.

i was talking to pardo online, and he's trying to explain how he liked the film. i simply can't understand it, because i think of him as not retarded. so this is it. look at it, if you like. am i incapable of putting myself in his shoes? is that ever the case, when watching movies? it's not like it's a military movie, or about an indian wedding, or about soccer, and one of us would feel a particular resonance with the subject matter. drop the cover for a second, or the cover of a cover, and i really think i am more empathic than the average person. much more, even.

ok, for some reason, this is not accepting formatting, and everything is smushed together. i'll try to post it when i get back to virginia.

happy birthday jade

shoot, it's no longer the 31st. well, you know. my niece turned 4 yesterday. she's so cute! jeez. my mom brought a bunch of balloons to her party and she went around sharing them out with guests. that's uncommonly nice for her, to be honest. ivy's the more considerate one. i didn't get her anything. but she already has everything. her great grandmother on jess's side bought her a two-sided easel (to share with ivy) and a painting set for each of them. this easel was expensive. the woman has a lot of money; her late husband invented something. jess bought her a ton of clothes. my mom got them a bunch of stuff. ed and jess's mom went in together on this toy castle set with an army of figures as well.

happy birthday jade.

ivy's is in october. i think. maybe november. damn.

tv and movies: the village

that's all i've been posting about lately. oh well. i hope i can help people to make good choices, is all. on that note.

do not go see the village. do not. do not do not do not. unless you're being paid to see it (at least $10/hr), or maybe you're on a date and really terribly told movies with pathetic plot twists gets her hot. m night shaydflkjamnalan is nothing but a hackneyed hack. schlock. i need more yiddish to express how bad he is now.

the movie is 120 minutes long. i spent most of it wishing it were over already. the premise isn't that bad. the whole truth behind the village is an interesting idea that could have become a solid movie. sadly, it did not. the twist is so predictable. what's worse is that one, after having considered it as a possibility, discards it as being too easy, or too stupid, or too something. it's pathetic. m night is a one trick pony. up until now, he's performed that one trick rather well. it's over. over. i will never see another of his films.

i loathe this movie. he can't be proud of this piece of festering shit with a cloud of flies over it. apparently all the critics hate it too. thank god.

my friend, pardo, on the other hand, really liked it. he said he was enthralled. he particularly enjoyed the character development. to which i responded, what character development? the twist in signs was bad, but the ride was great. in the village, both the storytelling and the surprise are painfully ungood.

ericthehodgeheG: i am positive that you liked it only because you saw how much i was hating it
Apardo04: ive considered it as a reason but but im discounting it