blogs that suck

goy, you is doin good.

tao sucks. that thank you for still loading the page is a taunt. sasha sucks, but he admitted it. catherine sucks.

jess still posts regularly, but i can only handle small doses. any more charmed life and i get nauseous.

salty. i missed your birthday by 22 days. exactly what those damn links are supposed to prevent. happy birthday you jew bastard.

sai your blog is too linky, and not enough rambly. the name irritates me. it makes me want to yell, you're overbudget! and then i realize that that's exactly what you're saying. post more.

mara, michael moore is a penis head. i don't like him. although i started laughing out loud when you said being home officially sucks. i don't think you meant for it to be funny but it was.

mike liu sucks so so incredibly much. why obtain your own url so you can update once every season? stoops also sucks. and bill.

amanda... i don't know. too much poetry. brain hurt.

casey i don't know your birthday. don't be gay. post more. how do you still not have a computer? eunji i forgot your birthday. i think i've asked 2 or 3 times now. you post a lot. about hanson and computers and crap, but it's better than nothing. makiko yours sucks. sucks ass. i hate you.

raj stop listening to gay pop music.

why can't i find a nice copy

i bit the bullet and ordered a copy of "sea of silver light" from the barnes and noble here, despite the fact they have two in the store, hoping against hope that i would get a copy in nice condition.

nope. when i picked it up earlier this week, it had a big ass crease in the front upper corner. and it's not made from the magic cover material! it's the normal shiny stuff, which is not unpleasant. it's just not magic.

sigh... i'm going to read this one, and then bring this copy back and ask if i can exchange it with one in the store. those two both were the nice covers, although marked up. still, they didn't have any creases.

ps the book itself is great. i still find myself skimming entire chapters, in my haste to get to the bottom of things. that's the only problem, is that i want to know what happens next so badly that the pacing can't keep up with me.

potato

i want to brag on here that the other day, for lunch, at logan's roadhouse (another really good restaurant here), i ordered for lunch

loaded baked potato soup
loaded mashed potatoes
sweet potato with butter + cinnamon

damn it was good. i should have ordered the loaded baked potato too, oh well.

how to be emo

this is great:

(17:56:33) KipperSnax: i just watched the "how to be emo" video
(17:56:59) KipperSnax: it's so scary....i was watching, thinking, haha, this is kinda like all the guys i date summed up, but it's not be
(17:57:12) KipperSnax: it's not me.....then they show that scene where he is knitting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(17:57:23) KipperSnax: i was knitting while i was watching this video!!!!!!!!!!
(17:57:26) KipperSnax: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(17:57:57) KipperSnax: i am living the how to be emo life, minus the emotional depth and extreme introvert qualities of billy

chipotle

damn that place is good. i know people always rave about some place back home, e.g. catherine about baja fresh in chicago. it doesn't exactly apply because i'm not from virginia, but damn. that burrito bol is the shit. i ate there for my second time today. also in this area that's damn good and cheap is potbelly's. plus the girls who work there are usually cute.

anyway, leon told me after we started eating that mcdonald's owns chipotle. if i had known that earlier, i would never have gone. but after eating there, it didn't matter. it reminds me a lot of watching austin's dvd castle in the sky, and only after really enjoying the movie and the voice acting, being told by austin that james vanderbeek and anna pacquin were the main characters.

on another subject, i finally have something besides a discover card. i know some people made fun of me for not having another card. and it has made certain things difficult, such as shopping in most stores and paying at restaurants, or shopping / gambling online. but when i opened a bank of america account the other day, the lady told me i was preapproved for $7,500 platinum something something. so, there ya go. first charge, 5.96 for a burrito bol, as i had no cash and the bastards do not take discover. i'm still going to use my discover card, because of the 1% and just old habit. although, i really ought to look into getting the platinum with the 2%. i think raj has one and makes fun of me for having the crappy one? screw you raj.

in my head

first off:

(after reading the newsgroup)
(22:23:06) ericthehodgeheG: casey made out with evan?
(22:23:14) idisarmed: YESSSSSSSSS
(22:23:16) idisarmed: it was awesome
(22:23:17) ericthehodgeheG: the guys kissed other guys
(22:23:21) ericthehodgeheG: i guess those are the rules
(22:23:24) idisarmed: all the girls starting yelling at them until the boys would tongue kiss
(22:23:28) idisarmed: because they were being jackasses about it
(22:23:36) idisarmed: tao and ani and lawrence and max had no problem with it
(22:23:37) idisarmed: and corey

ok. now let's do my thought process.

(22:23:06) ericthehodgeheG: casey made out with evan?
(that's a little disturbing)
(22:23:14) idisarmed: YESSSSSSSSS
(22:23:16) idisarmed: it was awesome
(um)
(22:23:17) ericthehodgeheG: the guys kissed other guys
(22:23:21) ericthehodgeheG: i guess those are the rules
(i guess those are the rules)
(22:23:24) idisarmed: all the girls starting yelling at them until the boys would tongue kiss
(tongue? sick)
(22:23:28) idisarmed: because they were being jackasses about it
(fair is fair, i suppose?)
(22:23:36) idisarmed: tao and ani and lawrence and max had no problem with it
(tao? i can see lawrence and max. tao?)
(22:23:37) idisarmed: and corey
(corey? wait. i like corey. maybe that wouldn't be - wait! that definitely _would_ be. ok stop thinking stop thinking now)

so incriminating

more IM. dammit i need to use gaim so i can log these and save the formatting.

(ben asks me for an example of the jew factor)
bigmac137 (11:14:32 PM): what about Gabi?
ericthehodgeheG (11:14:41 PM): this is out of 10?
bigmac137 (11:14:57 PM): yeah, but use decimals if you need.
ericthehodgeheG (11:15:04 PM): yeah gabi's around a 7 unweighted 8 weighted
*edit: crap i didn't paste this line in* - 8.5 when she straightens her hair

ericthehodgeheG (11:22:38 PM): do you read my blog?
TheCHSQ (11:22:40 PM): no
ericthehodgeheG (11:22:43 PM): oh ok
TheCHSQ (11:22:46 PM): why/
ericthehodgeheG (11:22:48 PM): no reason
ericthehodgeheG (11:22:57 PM): certainly not because i was thinking of posting something about you
TheCHSQ (11:23:34 PM): hahaha
TheCHSQ (11:23:49 PM): bigmac137 (11:24:19 PM): have you ever heard Chang's theory on jewish women about how they get extra hotness points for being jewish?
TheCHSQ (11:23:52 PM): whats this about??
ericthehodgeheG (11:24:48 PM): what the hell?
ericthehodgeheG (11:24:53 PM): i don' tknow what he's talking about
TheCHSQ (11:24:56 PM): haha
TheCHSQ (11:24:58 PM): sure you dont
ericthehodgeheG (11:25:51 PM): ben's a cold dirty liar
TheCHSQ (11:25:55 PM): haha
TheCHSQ (11:26:07 PM): so what do i rank? does my score go up cause im jewish?
ericthehodgeheG (11:26:25 PM): wow i wouldn't answer that
ericthehodgeheG (11:26:26 PM): ever
TheCHSQ (11:27:09 PM): aw why
TheCHSQ (11:27:13 PM): im not one to get offended
ericthehodgeheG (11:27:54 PM): you are a woman
ericthehodgeheG (11:28:02 PM): you can't help but get offended at stupid things that shouldn't offend you

(i have never been, and never will be, more right about something in my entire life)

TheCHSQ (11:29:29 PM): aw
ericthehodgeheG (11:29:56 PM): i can't trust you
TheCHSQ (11:30:02 PM): damn
TheCHSQ (11:30:08 PM): that hurts, eric
ericthehodgeheG (11:30:53 PM): wait, does it really
ericthehodgeheG (11:30:55 PM): or are you joking
TheCHSQ (11:31:48 PM): i guess youll never know
TheCHSQ (11:31:53 PM): but ben gave me his numbers for me
ericthehodgeheG (11:32:57 PM): what?
TheCHSQ (11:33:17 PM): ben told me what he thinks i am on a hotness scale
ericthehodgeheG (11:33:51 PM): oh
ericthehodgeheG (11:33:55 PM): are you satisfied
TheCHSQ (11:34:21 PM): yeah its pretty good :-)
ericthehodgeheG (11:34:29 PM): whatever he's just sucking up
ericthehodgeheG (11:34:31 PM): don't fall for it
TheCHSQ (11:34:37 PM): thanx :-)
ericthehodgeheG (11:34:40 PM): i will stick to my principles
ericthehodgeheG (11:36:59 PM): how many different ratings did he give you
TheCHSQ (11:37:18 PM): he said im a 7.5 but an 8 when i straighten my hair

(he stole the straightening from me!)

ericthehodgeheG (11:37:43 PM): i think you're beautiful all of the time
TheCHSQ (11:37:52 PM): aw
ericthehodgeheG (11:38:15 PM): and that it would be impossible to quantify your physical appearance
TheCHSQ (11:38:25 PM): haha
ericthehodgeheG (11:39:48 PM): come on, that's good
TheCHSQ (11:40:01 PM): yeah it was
ericthehodgeheG (11:40:45 PM): i am smooth as burlap
TheCHSQ (11:41:08 PM): yes, i love the feel of burlap caressing my bare skin
ericthehodgeheG (11:42:10 PM): um
ericthehodgeheG (11:42:30 PM): are you saying you'll have sex with me?

(it was worth a shot)

ericthehodgeheG (11:42:32 PM): cuz that's cool
TheCHSQ (11:42:50 PM): haha
TheCHSQ (11:43:13 PM): i said caress my skin, not penetrate me
ericthehodgeheG (11:43:36 PM): it was worth a shot
ericthehodgeheG (11:43:39 PM): ew
ericthehodgeheG (11:43:47 PM): burlap isn't made for that
TheCHSQ (11:44:09 PM): no, no its not
ericthehodgeheG (11:45:27 PM): but i can caress you
TheCHSQ (11:46:06 PM): haha
TheCHSQ (11:46:13 PM): ok next time you visit
ericthehodgeheG (11:46:39 PM): i'm printing this out
ericthehodgeheG (11:46:43 PM): and bringing it with me
TheCHSQ (11:46:52 PM): hahaa
TheCHSQ (11:46:53 PM): ok
TheCHSQ (11:49:14 PM): off to bed i go.... alone. goodnight eric
ericthehodgeheG (11:49:41 PM): you are a bastard
TheCHSQ (11:49:45 PM): i am?
ericthehodgeheG (11:50:14 PM): yes go tease your empty bed
TheCHSQ (11:50:33 PM): yes, im sure it will enjoy it
TheCHSQ (11:50:45 PM): its kind of sad being home though ....i cant sleep naked like i do at school
TheCHSQ (11:50:47 PM): oh well
ericthehodgeheG (11:50:57 PM): haha
ericthehodgeheG (11:50:58 PM): stop it
ericthehodgeheG (11:51:01 PM): you're bad
ericthehodgeheG (11:51:11 PM): can i post all of hte naughty things you said?
TheCHSQ (11:51:41 PM): yeah sure ....at this point, people alreayd know i'm the team cocktease and that im bi, so why not?
TheCHSQ (11:51:51 PM): oh right, and that im hot
TheCHSQ (11:51:59 PM): :-)
ericthehodgeheG (11:52:03 PM): but you're not really bi?
ericthehodgeheG (11:52:07 PM): when did that happen anyways
TheCHSQ (11:52:40 PM): im not really bi in that i dont think i could have a relationship with a girl, but i think girls are fun to hook up with
TheCHSQ (11:53:02 PM): and ive been like this for a while, its just that i had a girlfriend so i never acted on it
TheCHSQ (11:53:09 PM): haha, i had a boyfriend i mean
TheCHSQ (11:53:10 PM): oops
ericthehodgeheG (11:53:22 PM): wow
ericthehodgeheG (11:53:31 PM): that's a little slip
ericthehodgeheG (11:53:36 PM): ok go to sleep in your clothes
ericthehodgeheG (11:53:40 PM): i can edit it all in my head anyways
TheCHSQ (11:53:43 PM): ok im going
TheCHSQ (11:53:44 PM): haha
TheCHSQ (11:53:48 PM): goodnight eirc!
ericthehodgeheG (11:53:50 PM): i'm not joking!
ericthehodgeheG (11:53:54 PM): it's more creepy than funny!

(it really is! i promise you!)

TheCHSQ (11:54:02 PM): :-P
ericthehodgeheG (11:54:10 PM): you'll learn one day

(wow that sounds like a threat)

TheCHSQ (11:54:14 PM): bye!
ericthehodgeheG (11:54:18 PM): goodnight gabi

conversation

the conversation after this post (but preceding it chronologically) is really funny. and long. it's worth a read. i truly believe so.

i was telling pooja about it, and i said something along the lines of, austin and i have to live together when we grow up. to which she responded, silly, you _are_ grown up. weird.

i'm going to track the conversation, for my own amusement.

collecting crap and living together -> opening a comic book / gaming store -> collecting porn -> marriage (non sequiter?) -> shelves -> rust monsters -> druids -> OS's -> catgirl -> beanie babies -> books -> chairs, ramps, (shelved!) elevators, fire poles racing, stairs that turn into ramps -> scrooge mcduck -> crotchety - rapine

when i grow up

(23:32:07) ericthehodgeheG: there?
(23:32:10) The Lexicologist: here
(23:32:20) ericthehodgeheG: i just bought maybe 7 more games on ebay
(23:32:28) The Lexicologist: I envy you
(23:32:32) ericthehodgeheG: austin
(23:32:36) ericthehodgeheG: we need to live together
(23:32:56) ericthehodgeheG: if we're in the same house, we will have
every item anyone could ever possibly want for any possible reason
(23:33:08) The Lexicologist: this is the next thing I'm buying:
(23:33:11) The Lexicologist:
http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=products/dndcore/179230000
(23:33:13) The Lexicologist: it
(23:33:16) The Lexicologist: it's true
(23:33:17) The Lexicologist: well,
(23:33:24) The Lexicologist: anyone who doesn't suck
(23:33:30) ericthehodgeheG: right
(23:33:30) The Lexicologist: we might need mike liu for some of that stuff
(23:33:34) ericthehodgeheG: hehe
(23:33:41) ericthehodgeheG: oh my god
(23:33:51) ericthehodgeheG: wonderful showpiece
(23:33:55) ericthehodgeheG: created with the collector in mind
(23:34:05) ericthehodgeheG: the collector willing to shell out 75 smackeroons
(23:34:07) ericthehodgeheG: wow
(23:34:15) The Lexicologist: It will only be the third 3e PHB I own...
that's normal, right?
(23:34:25) ericthehodgeheG: are you counting 3.5?
(23:34:34) The Lexicologist: yeah
(23:34:37) ericthehodgeheG: but if we lived together
(23:34:45) ericthehodgeheG: i wouldn't need an actual job, or friends,
or a family
(23:34:50) ericthehodgeheG: my purpose would be fulfilled
(23:35:02) ericthehodgeheG: i could sit at home all day
(23:35:17) ericthehodgeheG: not actually reading, or playing, or
watching any of the items in the house
(23:35:26) The Lexicologist: just basking in all of them?
(23:35:28) ericthehodgeheG: i would bask in the comforting knowledge
(23:35:29) ericthehodgeheG: damn
(23:35:32) The Lexicologist: sucker
(23:35:32) ericthehodgeheG: bask was my word
(23:35:38) The Lexicologist: http://www.boneville.com/shopsite_sc/store/html/
(23:35:43) The Lexicologist: I got the softcover there
(23:35:53) The Lexicologist: but I kind of want the hardcover, too
(23:36:07) ericthehodgeheG: you probably need both
(23:36:08) ericthehodgeheG: for posterity
(23:36:11) The Lexicologist: right
(23:36:15) The Lexicologist: and it's a limited run
(23:36:18) ericthehodgeheG: anyways, before you stole my thunder
(23:36:23) ericthehodgeheG: you could read the softcover
(23:36:27) ericthehodgeheG: and never unwrap the hardcover
(23:36:31) The Lexicologist: oh man
(23:36:34) The Lexicologist: now I have to get it
(23:36:36) ericthehodgeheG: before the thunder stealing
(23:36:40) The Lexicologist: I could never unwrap it!
(23:36:50) The Lexicologist: see, you have to unwrap the new PHB
(23:36:50) ericthehodgeheG: it would be such a wonderful feeling
(23:36:54) The Lexicologist: because it contains errata
(23:36:59) The Lexicologist: ERRATA!
(23:37:06) ericthehodgeheG: i hate errata
(23:37:16) ericthehodgeheG: mostly because of magic
(23:37:19) The Lexicologist: heh
(23:37:24) The Lexicologist: so, before the thunderstealing
(23:37:44) ericthehodgeheG: i could just wander from room to room and
run my hands over the various collections
(23:37:53) ericthehodgeheG: i think i could do that forever
(23:37:58) The Lexicologist: I've often said that a big part of me
wants to give up on any other ambitions, and just open a comic
book/gaming store
(23:38:11) ericthehodgeheG: the sad thing is i've seen a lot of those go under
(23:38:12) The Lexicologist: it's hard for me to think of a happier
way to spend my days
(23:38:16) The Lexicologist: yeah, me too
(23:38:29) The Lexicologist: and a lot of the best ones went quickest
(23:38:33) ericthehodgeheG: you could be one of those dudes painting
warhammer figurines all day while nobody shops there
(23:38:45) ericthehodgeheG: yeah i know exactly what you mean
(23:38:55) The Lexicologist: the guy who used to let you have more
comics than you could afford, and who would trade you candy for cards
out of boosters that you didn't want
(23:39:07) ericthehodgeheG: yeah, the kind of shopkeeper you'd hope to be
(23:39:10) The Lexicologist: his store went under cause a car crashed
through the front window and he couldn't recover from it
(23:39:18) ericthehodgeheG: jesus
(23:39:29) The Lexicologist: he was just barely getting by, and then that
(23:39:35) The Lexicologist: Popularities, it was called
(23:39:39) ericthehodgeheG: hahahah
(23:39:40) The Lexicologist: which, looking back, is brilliant
(23:39:45) ericthehodgeheG: that's a great name for a comic book store
(23:39:56) The Lexicologist: I dunno if he meant as ironically as we
think of it now
(23:40:03) The Lexicologist: but damn did I love that place
(23:40:11) The Lexicologist: so, wait
(23:40:22) The Lexicologist: if you're spending the whole day
caressing things, that means I'm working?
(23:40:41) ericthehodgeheG: you're the one with the phd
(23:40:52) ericthehodgeheG: i'll start up an lsat prep business
(23:40:59) The Lexicologist: you're the one with the sick lawyer-test score
(23:41:03) The Lexicologist: yeah, lsat
(23:41:05) The Lexicologist: that one
(23:41:08) ericthehodgeheG: i'm also the one not in law school
(23:41:17) The Lexicologist: how's that goin' by the way>
(23:41:18) The Lexicologist: ?
(23:41:20) ericthehodgeheG: wait would we be collecting porn?
(23:41:23) The Lexicologist: and is china ever happening?
(23:41:32) ericthehodgeheG: i don't know about china
(23:41:38) The Lexicologist: I think we'd have to be married before it
would be okay to collect porn
(23:41:43) The Lexicologist: not to each other, mind you
(23:41:50) ericthehodgeheG: i've always promised myself that i would
collect porn once i could afford it
(23:42:05) ericthehodgeheG: porn is fucking expensive
(23:42:06) ericthehodgeheG: haha, one of us can be married and the
other can collect porn
(23:42:07) The Lexicologist: to other dudes
(23:42:08) ericthehodgeheG: dibs on porn
(23:42:14) The Lexicologist: heh
(23:42:16) The Lexicologist: ok
(23:42:21) The Lexicologist: you can be the porn specialist
(23:42:29) The Lexicologist: I'll do banjos on the side
(23:42:34) The Lexicologist: and by do I mean collect
(23:42:40) The Lexicologist: and by collect I mean have sex with
(23:42:52) ericthehodgeheG: you know every wall in the house has to be
lined with shelves
(23:42:54) The Lexicologist: and by banjos I mean redheads

(momentary digression to a certain reddish mutual acquaintance)

(23:43:17) The Lexicologist: my shelves in this apartment are amazing
(23:48:23) ericthehodgeheG: do you know how to build a house? i don't
think there are many houses with built-in shelves along every single
wall inside
(23:48:46) ericthehodgeheG: oh dude we need those rolly ladders on wheels
(23:49:00) The Lexicologist: yeah, big time
(23:49:19) ericthehodgeheG: do you know how to build a house
(23:49:24) The Lexicologist: we need to follow the design of the
orphanage I'm in
(23:49:33) The Lexicologist: and not have any floor between the second
and third story
(23:49:50) The Lexicologist: so that the shelves can go like 20' high
on the entire second floor
(23:49:55) ericthehodgeheG: god
(23:49:56) The Lexicologist: and then the rolly ladders will be amazing
(23:49:57) ericthehodgeheG: that is so hot
(23:50:08) The Lexicologist: I don't know how to build a house
(23:50:22) The Lexicologist: but I built a giant swingset
(23:50:24) The Lexicologist: does that count?
(23:50:28) The Lexicologist: it had a platform on it
(23:50:31) ericthehodgeheG: can we live in one of those?
(23:50:46) ericthehodgeheG: can you take some house building classes at ruster
(23:50:58) The Lexicologist: ruster is a new one
(23:51:11) The Lexicologist: if I called my friends rusters I would
think of rust monsters
(23:51:21) ericthehodgeheG: they make good pets
(23:51:28) The Lexicologist: I don't know if that would be better or
worse than thinking of cocks
(23:51:29) ericthehodgeheG: for druids, i guess
(23:51:50) The Lexicologist: I'd never heard that
(23:51:53) The Lexicologist: makes sense though
(23:52:07) ericthehodgeheG: i think i read they are receptive to training
(23:52:08) The Lexicologist: you'd have to be a pretty aggressive
druid to keep the rustmonster fed, though
(23:52:50) ericthehodgeheG: true
(23:53:04) ericthehodgeheG: you could be trying to destabilize the
world's economy or something
(23:53:09) The Lexicologist: does it matter where our house is?
(23:53:11) ericthehodgeheG: although that's pretty against balance
(23:53:21) ericthehodgeheG: i was going to suggest somewhere with cheap land
(23:53:53) The Lexicologist: you could probably play it as chaotic
neutral-- that there's so many extremist forces out there that the
only way to affect balance at all is to be extreme
(23:54:04) ericthehodgeheG: you're pretty set on getting married right?
(23:54:16) The Lexicologist: yeah, I really hope that happens
(23:54:19) ericthehodgeheG: can she live in the shed attached to the house
(23:54:30) ericthehodgeheG: i don't want her cramping the house's style
(23:54:34) The Lexicologist: depends if we have a good name for the shed
(23:54:36) ericthehodgeheG: she might touch my stuff
(23:54:42) ericthehodgeheG: like the honeymoon shed?
(23:54:44) The Lexicologist: like "gnight eric, I'm going to the ____"
(23:54:57) The Lexicologist: that's not a very good name
(23:55:03) The Lexicologist: it should probably rhyme
(23:55:06) The Lexicologist: and offend my wife
(23:55:08) ericthehodgeheG: shed of everlasting devotion?
(23:55:52) The Lexicologist: you'll have to learn to use linux
(23:55:57) The Lexicologist: or maybe mac OSX
(23:56:00) ericthehodgeheG: the bungalow of hard fucking?
(23:56:06) The Lexicologist: damned if I'll have any windows boxes in my house
(23:56:18) ericthehodgeheG: we can have a windows shed also
(23:56:26) The Lexicologist: all the good pc games will be on console
by then, right?
(23:56:33) ericthehodgeheG: who knows
(23:56:42) ericthehodgeheG: your wife can stay in the same place we keep my porn
(23:56:53) ericthehodgeheG: right? it makes sense
(23:57:09) The Lexicologist: do you do the porn viewing outside of the shed?
(23:57:27) ericthehodgeheG: as in, i stand outside looking through the window?
(23:57:31) The Lexicologist: I don't know if I'm comfortable with hard
wanking in the bungalow of hard fucking
(23:57:33) ericthehodgeheG: i can do that
(23:57:51) The Lexicologist: you're keeping mike and sarah up
(23:57:54) The Lexicologist: because I keep laughing
(23:58:02) ericthehodgeheG: tell sarah to shut it
(23:58:15) ericthehodgeheG: do you know anyone else with a collecting
fetish/obsession
(23:58:21) ericthehodgeheG: it has to be an actual compulsion
(23:58:38) ericthehodgeheG: they have to buy things they don't
actually want because they know they might someday want it
(23:58:51) The Lexicologist: heh
(23:59:01) ericthehodgeheG: we need to have a GIGANTIC satellite dish
on the roof
(23:59:04) ericthehodgeheG: it doesn't have to do anything
(23:59:08) ericthehodgeheG: it just has to be fucking huge
(23:59:15) The Lexicologist: ok, I need to go
(23:59:19) ericthehodgeheG: it can be a birdfeeder
(23:59:20) The Lexicologist: I'm laughing to hard
(23:59:27) ericthehodgeheG: i'm serious about this
(23:59:27) The Lexicologist: s/to/too/
(23:59:34) The Lexicologist: I'm laughing so hard it made me stupid
(23:59:56) ericthehodgeheG: get me the cat girl's address
(23:59:57) The Lexicologist: who switches the preposition and the quantifier?
(00:00:10) The Lexicologist: for the thank you note?
(00:00:12) ericthehodgeheG: yes
(00:00:14) ericthehodgeheG: do it
(00:00:17) The Lexicologist: considering
(00:00:26) The Lexicologist: I may point her to your blog instead
(00:00:30) The Lexicologist: if I do, I will tell you
(00:00:31) ericthehodgeheG: not good enough
(00:00:35) The Lexicologist: so you can leave a note for her
(00:00:44) ericthehodgeheG: the effect
(00:00:49) ericthehodgeheG: you know it would be diminished
(00:00:51) ericthehodgeheG: drastically
(00:01:05) ericthehodgeheG: you're better than this, austin!
(00:01:38) ericthehodgeheG: anyways, goodnight
(00:01:48) ericthehodgeheG: but i'm serious about the house
(00:01:58) The Lexicologist: lemme get my first real job

(stuff is edited out here, that segues into beanie babies. i'm serious)

(00:06:27) ericthehodgeheG: which beanie are you
(00:06:32) The Lexicologist: giganto
(00:06:40) The Lexicologist: I don't even have to think about that one
(00:06:41) ericthehodgeheG: what?
(00:06:44) ericthehodgeheG: i don't know them
(00:06:48) The Lexicologist: though, someone said I was an owl once
(00:06:54) The Lexicologist: giganto is a wooly mammoth
(00:06:59) The Lexicologist: I have the beanie baby
(00:07:09) The Lexicologist: I had the beanie buddy, but I gave it to
my nephew when he was born
(00:07:23) ericthehodgeheG: i thought you were a wooly bear
(00:07:47) The Lexicologist: my favorite animal is a wooly mammoth
(00:08:11) ericthehodgeheG: ok, so we can get a hedgehog, and a wooly mammoth
(00:08:15) ericthehodgeheG: they can be friends
(00:08:43) The Lexicologist: have you read the fourth book in the good
L'Engle series?
(00:08:46) ericthehodgeheG: this house is going to rule
(00:08:48) The Lexicologist: it's called many waters
(00:08:50) ericthehodgeheG: haha the little ones?
(00:08:54) The Lexicologist: little mammoths
(00:09:00) The Lexicologist: dream pet
(00:09:04) ericthehodgeheG: right, and they were real nice
(00:09:09) ericthehodgeheG: they called the unicorn?
(00:09:15) The Lexicologist: something like that
(00:09:20) ericthehodgeheG: you know she has a bunch more books
(00:09:28) ericthehodgeheG: they're weird though. they look like
adolescent girl books
(00:09:34) ericthehodgeheG: going on vacation and meeting a dark handsome boy
(00:09:53) The Lexicologist: they're actually about the Austin family,
if I'm not mistaken
(00:09:56) The Lexicologist: (and I'm not)
(00:10:10) The Lexicologist: we need good desk chairs
(00:10:16) The Lexicologist: and ramps and elevators
(00:10:32) The Lexicologist: (lined with shelves)
(00:10:40) ericthehodgeheG: i'm sure by then professor x chairs will
be commonplace
(00:10:45) ericthehodgeheG: oh man shelved elevators
(00:10:48) ericthehodgeheG: you are a visionary
(00:11:19) ericthehodgeheG: there will be a fire pole? spanning all
of the floors
(00:11:26) The Lexicologist: well duh
(00:11:38) The Lexicologist: but we need *two*
(00:11:38) ericthehodgeheG: god i wish i was rich
(00:11:41) The Lexicologist: so we can race
(00:11:41) ericthehodgeheG: i could just take care of this now
(00:11:43) ericthehodgeheG: hahaha
(00:11:49) ericthehodgeheG: that's so awesome
(00:12:13) The Lexicologist: they should be the ones with the spiral
staircases going up around them
(00:12:20) ericthehodgeheG: i was thinking spiral ramps
(00:12:34) ericthehodgeheG: i actually was thinking of spiral ramps
right before you said that
(00:12:38) The Lexicologist: well, the stairs flatten out so it becomes a slide
(00:12:45) ericthehodgeheG: hey don't get crazy now
(00:12:47) The Lexicologist: you know, for intruders
(00:12:50) ericthehodgeheG: hahaaha
(00:12:59) ericthehodgeheG: will there be a giant lever that says, pull me
(00:13:05) The Lexicologist: maybe
(00:13:10) The Lexicologist: but one thing is for sure
(00:13:12) ericthehodgeheG: or maybe, don't pull me
(00:13:14) The Lexicologist: secret passages
(00:13:22) ericthehodgeheG: yes!
(00:13:25) The Lexicologist: we can have pull me and don't pull me
(00:13:33) The Lexicologist: but either way you're screwed
(00:13:34) ericthehodgeheG: this is amazing
(00:13:41) ericthehodgeheG: i was thinking of secret passages too earlier
(00:13:46) ericthehodgeheG: if you're building your own house
(00:13:51) ericthehodgeheG: how could you not
(00:13:58) The Lexicologist: you would really have to
(00:14:13) ericthehodgeheG: would the secret passages have shelves?
(00:14:38) The Lexicologist: where else would we keep our secret collections?
(00:14:43) ericthehodgeheG: hahahahaha
(00:14:45) The Lexicologist: well, I mean, other than in the vault
(00:15:06) ericthehodgeheG: i don't care what you say, it's phsyically
impossible to survive diving into a pile of solid gold coins
(00:15:16) ericthehodgeheG: much less swimming through them
(00:15:49) The Lexicologist: are you trying to imply that you're the
launchpad to my scrooge mcduck?
(00:16:26) ericthehodgeheG: ouch
(00:16:29) The Lexicologist: you know, we should really spend all of
our days writing letters to companies about what to release as
collectors' editions, and what features to include
(00:16:38) ericthehodgeheG: all of our days right now?
(00:16:46) The Lexicologist: no, once we have the house
(00:16:47) ericthehodgeheG: you know, maybe dave will win the next wsop
(00:17:06) ericthehodgeheG: do you understand how crotchety we could be
(00:17:16) ericthehodgeheG: we would have unlimited crotchety license
(00:17:28) The Lexicologist: "Dear Disney. You have not yet release
Gargoyles on DVD. Please remedy this, and include a documentary about
why you raped so many different mythologies and legends for this
program."
(00:17:47) ericthehodgeheG: ow, my stomach hurts
(00:17:55) The Lexicologist: bad clams?
(00:18:05) ericthehodgeheG: that's incredible
(00:18:11) ericthehodgeheG: we have to use the word rape in every single letter

(someone uses the word rape in another letter that that isn't really offensive, but i'm playing it safe)

(00:20:24) The Lexicologist: that's two
(00:20:49) ericthehodgeheG: extra points for rapine
(00:20:57) The Lexicologist: heh
(00:20:59) The Lexicologist: ok
(00:21:02) The Lexicologist: canoeing tomorrow
(00:21:08) The Lexicologist: gtg
(00:21:33) ericthehodgeheG: hey
(00:21:35) ericthehodgeheG: send me the log

how to be emo

go to something directory and download how to be emo. it's long, and 171 megs, so it takes a while to dl, but it's funny most of the time and spot on about a lot of things. i feel this would be perfect for kelsey. absolutely perfect. you'll know what i mean if you watch it. this is courtesy of christian by the way.

oh my god oh my god get it get it get it now

i saw episodes 17 - 20 of star wars clone wars. the miniseries that aired on cartoon network, and apparently won an emmy. oh my god. the 20 minutes i watched > episodes 1 2 4 5 6, unless you count nostalgia. oh my fucking god. it was so fucking amazing. first watching skywalker fight the sith. and then the droid general. 3 SWORDS!!! 3!!! holy shit. more force powers were used in those two battles than in the entirety of the series so far.

i immediately called tao so i could exclaim "oh my god" in a really high pitched voice into the phone repeatedly. THREE FUCKING SWORDS. THREE. i've recruited tao and raj to try to download them somewhere. i need to see the earlier ones.

genndy tartovsky wrote and directed them. there were 4 (never before aired, i think?) episodes of samurai jack and all 20 chapters of clone wars playing from 7-11 pm tonight, but i was watching chapelle show until 10:08 because i just bought season 1. $18 at target! i watched the whole first disc. damn.

oh, great sketches from that first disc.

black people get reparations
ask a black dude with paul mooney
it's a wonderful chest
mad real world
great moments in hook-up history - penis in the popcorn

i'm still waiting on wayne brady, fear factor with tyrone biggums, prince plays basketball, reverse law and order with tron, and some others. hooray for disc 2.

photographic gold

steiner is priceless. priceless. i think a photographer could earn an entire living by feeding steiner beer and then following him around.

when we were making captions for the pictures that catherine posted, almost every one of steiner we left alone. because they were just too good to caption. you can't caption the perfect picture.

i was looking through the pictures from rachel's camera, and there are two absolutely amazing ones. one of steiner jaydip and me. one of raj mary and steiner. in both, steiner dominates. dominates. i can't stop laughing whenever i see them. the steiner jaydip me one is my wallpaper now. it's so incredible.

i emailed them to a couple of people. let me know if you want to see. might as well take advantage of that 1 gig of space on gmail.

i was thinking of setting up a gmail account to share files on. you know, share the name and password and upload whatever files we felt like. i don't know if i could get in trouble with gmail for that. or for even writing this. are they watching me right now?

crap, shoulda used gaim

ranger0099 (6:19:52 PM): steiner is fucking awesome

TaoZedong (6:19:46 PM): oh god
TaoZedong (6:19:49 PM): that's amazing

another good one

anything else. it's on hbo now. jason biggs is annoying, but that speech impediment is part of his woody allen character. woody allen is hilarious. christina ricci is hot. and you can't help but root for the poor jew bastard.

that makes 3 out of 25 or so movies from this summer that i enjoyed. i must be forgetting a few more.

no subject

i'm not sure why, but i feel like i've lived a lot more today than i have lately. it's almost palpable. strange. it's 3:43 am, but i almost don't want this day to end. contemplative. eh. i guess i'll play pokemon fire red on my gameboy advance special (groudon limited edition) til i fall asleep.

goodnight world. i can't see you, moon. goodnight anyways.

The World According To

One of my favorite books, and possibly my absolute favorite, is The World According to Garp. it has nothing to do with this post. i just borrowed the title.

A friend called me tonight. I laughed so hard. I was on the floor, on my back, rolling around and laughing, at one point. That doesn't mean the call was funny. But if I couldn't find it funny, I'd have to stick a shotgun in my mouth and pull. The same goes for my friend, I think. He called me because he knew I would understand, and that I would appreciate it more than anyone else possibly could. It's so perfect and so awful at the same time. He even said he felt better because he called me.

Life. Life is incredible. and if you can't laugh at it, then you can't live. i laugh because there's no other way to deal with it. oh. stranger in a strange land. read it. heinlein knows exactly why we laugh. i wish i had it here with me now. maybe i'll go to barnes and noble tomorrow and reread that passage.

in The World According to Me, i will die alone. that's after leading a full life of aloneness. i can only pray (to what?) that the world doesn't really work this way, despite the mounting evidence that i could not be more correct. maybe, at some point, it'll get back to normal.

talking to my friend put me in the mood to watch high fidelity. such a great movie. such a great book. they're both so good. i don't even think one is necessarily better than the other. which is saying a lot, for the movie especially. nick hornby - where did he gain all that knowledge? how long did he spend meditating on a mountaintop? and the best part is i watched the last 20 minutes or so with a huge grin on my face. maybe real life can work out like that. it's not impossible, right? which means it's a little possible, at least.

i could go on about the movie for pages, miles, hours, kilowatt-hours, but i won't. if you haven't seen it... i don't know. you're a bad person, or something. you're not my friend.

character

she's got character. she's loyal, and honest, and she doesn't even take it out on other people when she's having a bad day. that's character.

if you read this, and you think, he's talking about me, don't feel bad. i'm not even talking about you. because two different people took it out on me tonight. it happens. and they both apologized shortly afterwards, so it's not a big deal. i thought it was interesting, and pertinent, is all.

i am puntastic

that is a pun on funtastic. which is not an actual word. regardless, i rule.

(22:28:32) ericthehodgeheG: gay clubs are cool
(22:28:40) ericthehodgeheG: ain't nothin wrong with some hanky-hanky
(22:28:49) ericthehodgeheG: hey, that is really good!

check that out! get it? hanky-hanky. instead of hanky-panky. as in, two hankys. two hanks! and i thought of that ON THE FLY. i am inconceivable. in many ways. but in this case, i am inconceivable punwise.

god, or GOD, or whatever

i might mess this up, but this is the gist:

god: if you do things right, people won't know that you did anything at all. you have to use a light touch. like a safecracker, or a pickpocket.
bender: or like when you start a fire so you can collect the insurance money?
god: sure, if you make it look like an electrical thing.

i could fill up an entire blog with flat out hilarious passages from futurama. i could even fill a blog with meaningful passages. i don't think i will, because i don't own the series.

at barnes and noble - now i'm confused. i think i saw it today. but i didn't go to a bookstore today. but i think i would have written about it in my post yesterday if it had been yesterday. it must have been yesterday, though. hell - i saw a futurama comic book! good news. more futurama. the problem lays in the pricing of the book. that is to say (i.e.?), it has a price. i miss the days when i could experience futurama, for free, without even having to read it. but such is life. so it goes, and other platitudes. i don't know if the two are comparable, but if i had to, i would rate futurama over family guy. but what do i know? of course, fox cancelled both shows, just like it cancelled firefly, and all three sell like mad hotcakes on DVD. and it would have cancelled arrested development, if it hadn't been nominated for _SEVEN_ emmys. who are the fox executives? how do they manage to approve good shows, only to cancel them? what kind of SHIT are they actually keeping, then? regardless, they are bringing family guy back, but i wish it was futurama receiving the gift of reanimation. heh, get it? re-animation! that's good. i'm good.

_pain_ *wince* /e cry

*edit* gaim saves formatting! i don't care if it doesn't show up well. highlight it, you sissy. screw you aim. i'm done with you. hit the road.

i read garrett's latest post, and again, i feel like i am that much farther from nirvana. enlightenment, oneness, peace... all of these things are now that much more beyond my reach. it drives me nuts. i don't understand why or how he does it. i've heard all the usual responses. cry for attention. any way he can get it. so on. i can understand it, hypothetically, in a disconnected way, but i can't _understand_ it. it's like knowing the universe is infinite, and then having to face the physical (un)reality of its size.

i started out this post as usual. but i think i went too far. no one on the actual team was around to ask about it, so i postponed the sucker. i do think before i post. and i asked pooja for her opinion. typically -

(21:44:08) Lyra1231: yeah that's really mean
(21:44:10) Lyra1231: you cxan't post that
(21:44:16) Lyra1231: who is this guy
(21:44:20) Lyra1231: and what the hell did he post
(21:44:29) ericthehodgeheG: he does it
(21:44:31) ericthehodgeheG: over and over and over
(21:44:32) ericthehodgeheG: always
(21:44:40) ericthehodgeheG: his posts are _painful_
(21:44:45) ericthehodgeheG: and he knows they are
(21:44:52) ericthehodgeheG: bu the does it anyways
(21:45:16) ericthehodgeheG: it hurts me
(21:45:16) ericthehodgeheG: inside
(21:45:18) ericthehodgeheG: to read them
(21:46:16) ericthehodgeheG: they're so bad
(21:47:04) Lyra1231: so don't read them
(21:47:06) Lyra1231: DONT READ THEM
(21:47:12) Lyra1231: that post of yours is unforgivable

pooja doesn't know the situation. she has heard, from me, that the universe is infinite. or maybe a more appropriate analogy would be the absolute evil of satan. she knows that satan is pure evil. but she hasn't felt the pain he has caused. maybe war would be better. either way, i'm done with this part of the post.

i need a better opinion. is this too harsh? my guess is yes. i wouldn't ever want to actually stop garrett from posting anymore. i do, however, wish, with all of my bleeding heart, that he could post something that doesn't make me wince upon reading it. here you go:

garrett can have the nickname of threadkiller. or threadkilla, if he wants to be thug about it. either way, nothing absolutely destroys any comical momentum a thread has built up more efficiently than one of his posts. i mean, look at that. whatever kinetic humor this thread had, gone. whatever potential humor this thread had, will never be.

my heart would weep if it weren't busy vomiting. garrett, you make me sad inside.

i wish i could just pretend his post did not exist. but it's impossible. it's just lying there, sprawled out like a stinking raccoon corpse square in the middle of the road, screaming at you like the world's loudest car alarm: LOOK AT ME!! LOOOOOOK AT MEEEEE!!! I'M NOT FUNNY! BUT GARRETT WROTE ME DOWN AND POSTED ME ANYWAYS!! HE KNOWS I'M NOT FUNNY! BUT HE TRIES SO HARD!! AND THAT MAKES ME EVEN MORE TRAGIC!!!! HE WANTS TO BE FUNNY, BUT HE CAN'T, SO HE WILL SETTLE FOR ANY KIND OF ATTENTION, EVEN IF IT IS THE, GOD HOW IS HE THAT NOT FUNNY KIND!! LOOK AT ME AND CRY! FEEL YOUR SPIRIT SHRIVEL AND YOUR STOMACH TWIST IN KNOTS BECAUSE I SOMEHOW CAUSE YOU BOTH PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL PAIN!!

at this point i took a step back and realized i was probably going overboard. oh well.

on loving

hello, eric's world.

ericthehodgeheG (11:39:43 PM): i think i would like it there better, knowing you put it there
ericthehodgeheG (11:39:52 PM): there's meaning
ericthehodgeheG (11:39:54 PM): you idiot

so, here goes...

"love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. if you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. wrap it carefully round hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your own selfishness. but in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. it will not be broken. it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. to love is to be vulnerable" - c.s. lewis

discuss amongst yourselves.
guilelessly,
p.k.m.

barnes and noble lately and a pokemon rant

so after looking at the barnes and noble here, the borders here and in tyson's corner, the waldenbooks here, and the barnes and nobles in enfield and holyoke, i am unable to find a copy of book 4 of otherland, "sea of silver light," in acceptable (to me) condition. i found some in mint, but they didn't have the nice covers! those smooth covers feel like heaven to me. you know what i'm talking about, right? i can just run my hands over those covers forever.

i finally ordered it here. 3-8 days. if it comes and it's also in bad condition, do i have to buy it?

few things i noticed:

the dark tower is out! damn. $35 hardcover. i'd get 30% off with a membership, but that's still $24.50 for a book. plus, i would kind of rather prolong it.

book 3 of neil gaiman's baroque cycle is out. he's prolific.

the manga section is huge. it's huge at all bookstores now. it's crazy. makes me wish i had the money to blow on it.

there's some big comic book by neil gaiman, sandman endless nights. the cover is so fucking beautiful. gold lettering on a cover made of the same magical material that makes me happy inside. i flipped through it and it looked like erotica... i thought that was weird.

america: democracy inaction (get it? eh?) by jon stewart is out. the made-up (i hope) quotes on the back cover are hilarious. i'd never heard of it until i saw it on the rack, but it looks interesting.

there's some 2 hour farscape movie event on... what channel? i forget. i saw a bookmark stating that on the customer service counter while ordering my (hopefully) pristine book. i thought jess or erik moser might like that. it's funny, the series is out on dvd. it must have been popular somewhere.

[skip this part if you don't care about pokemon. or dungeons and dragons. which i find unfathomable, but hey]

i don't think i wrote on here that i got pokemon fire red. jillian was thinking of getting one of them, so when she decided to get leaf green i thought i might as well. it's much better when you have two games and two gameboys available. i did my usual routine of starting the game 6 times to make sure i got one female of each starter and one male. each male also had to be the best type, you know - bold for tanks, modest or jolly for special sweepers.

it's really cool. playing the original with all the new bells and whistles is really a lot of fun. and trading with the wireless adapter is so awesome. i am curious whether that adapter only works with pokemon, or for linking any game.

it still bothers me how badly the game is designed. the types are inconsistent. ground AND rock? they're practically the same thing. why is bug a type, but all birds are type flying? how come dragon is a type? and why is charizard fire/flying? all dragons are flying. same for gyrados. it's blatantly a dragon, but it's water/flying. and how is normal a type? it should be the same damn thing as fighting.

things like this need to be represented by pretty charts. if they can't be represented by such, then they are flawed. look at the elemental planes in d&d. you have the primary, the quasi, the para, and the energy planes. look at how they're connected. that's how it's done. the pokemon designers just pulled it out and have stuck with the same flawed system since. how is dark a type? what is its opposite? if grass > water > fire > grass, where does electricity fit in? if water is opposite fire, then how is fire also opposite ice? they even added two more types, steel and dark, because psychic was clearly so powerful. before those two, psychic dominated.

another example i just thought of. wow. i keep drawing on more and more nerd. look at magic the gathering. i don't know what's changed in the past couple of years, but richard garfield designed the game with five colors. white black green red blue. plains swamps forests mountains islands. simple. five points on a star. each point is allied with the two adjacent and opposed to the two opposite. pretty. that's how it should be. and all of the relationships make sense. without me telling you, you should be able to place those 5 colors in their proper positions.

you're silly :)

i was reminded while writing a post on the newsgroup of a saying that my niece ivy picked up recently. she must have told me, "you're silly" with this big smile on her face at least 5 times while i was home over the weekend of the 11th. god, it was adorable. i will admit that i do act silly around her. but what else is an uncle for, when you're not yet 3 years old?

character

this is one of the things that i consider myself to be good at.

TaoZedong: I need three cartoon characters
TaoZedong: one that represents the team on the field
ericthehodgeheG: still with this
TaoZedong: one that represents the team at a party
ericthehodgeheG: when is the bid due
TaoZedong: one that represents the team in the bedroom
TaoZedong: in a week

we ended up with
field - cartman + trapper keeper, post-rosie o'donnell-assimilation. because he's on the verge of absolute victory, and chokes (how appropriate!). stoops' suggestion, although i thought of the rosie part.
party - johnny bravo. because he's so overpoweringly male. just like all of our parties...
bed - zapp brannigan. because he talks so so much and has absolutely no goods to deliver. so leela - will you have... the pleasure?

other good choices: shredder for the field, because he always should win, but somehow fucks it up. slurms mckenzie for the party, not because he's apt, just because he's the original party worm. freakazoid for the bedroom, because he's half super nerd and half superhero (tao explained it as the men to ass relationship on the team is like a power curve - a few guys get all the action). and that was an incredible show.

one thing i want to point out is how predominantly pathetic these characters are. but is that the way i think of the entire team? not so much. i think it's more of an individual self-perception that i fit over the team like a lens. the characters are still appropriate, they all also happen to be sad on the inside.

i IMed catherine about this, and she said she has to do the same thing. this is a continuation of an earlier conversation wherein i berated her for not wanting to see 50 first dates when it was out in theaters. i'm mostly posting it here as proof, because i want my hand-written apology.

ericthehodgeheG: and if you really like it, i want a hand written apology
ericthehodgeheG: and if you don't really like it, you're a cold loveless shell of a person
absolut 2 7 0: i never said i would hate it!
absolut 2 7 0: i just said it looked bad!
ericthehodgeheG: i tried to get you to see it with me, and you said no
absolut 2 7 0: no you said i have to see it
ericthehodgeheG: i tried! back when it was in theaters
ericthehodgeheG: and you said you didn't want to
ericthehodgeheG: does lying make you happy or something? you're sick
absolut 2 7 0: oh
absolut 2 7 0: i dont remmeber that
ericthehodgeheG: yeah yeah
ericthehodgeheG: i will be expecting my apology in the mail
ericthehodgeheG: TaoZedong: I need three cartoon characters
TaoZedong: one that represents the team on the field
ericthehodgeheG: still with this
TaoZedong: one that represents the team at a party
ericthehodgeheG: when is the bid due
TaoZedong: one that represents the team in the bedroom
TaoZedong: in a week
absolut 2 7 0: yea, we need them too!
ericthehodgeheG: ooo, who's helping you pick? you're in trouble
absolut 2 7 0: you are!

absolut 2 7 0: cause then i'll go see 50 first dates!
ericthehodgeheG: hand-written apology if you really like it?
absolut 2 7 0: yes

i didn't cut anything between her you are! and the next message. i think she put a carriage return in her message. i also didn't cut anything between the yes and what's coming up next. i'm separating it here because i want to point out that i was still able to think of nothing but mean things. what does that say about me.

ericthehodgeheG: what if i'm just mean and such
ericthehodgeheG: about picking characters, that is
absolut 2 7 0: what do you mean by mean
absolut 2 7 0: you wont do it, or you'll pick nasty ones?
ericthehodgeheG: nevermind. i'm just a bitter bitter person

probably because my perceptions of the girls' team are colored by a certain member -- namely the one deep throating a beer bottle in that picture from the last party we had -- i came up with this. i should put a link up to those pictures. i'm sorry, but i forget how to html links to open in a new window, and i'm not inclined to look it up.

absolut 2 7 0: can we be like butters
absolut 2 7 0: ?
absolut 2 7 0: he is so cute?
absolut 2 7 0: no?
ericthehodgeheG: hahaha
absolut 2 7 0: and confused
ericthehodgeheG: did you see "butters' very own episode"
absolut 2 7 0: yea
ericthehodgeheG: you can be butters
ericthehodgeheG: you're a good butters
ericthehodgeheG: i don't know about the entire team
absolut 2 7 0: haha, aw, how kind
ericthehodgeheG: one way you _could_ go, but probably won't
ericthehodgeheG: is think of the sluttiest character ever, and use it for all three. because the girls' team gives it away on the field (the frisbee), at the party (to each other), and in the bedroom
ericthehodgeheG: but you probably don't want to say that to the td
absolut 2 7 0: omg
absolut 2 7 0: thats funny/horrible all at the same time

i also liked these two. again, the bitterness. also, i wanted to suggest a character that only appears for a few seconds at the most in any given episode. much like those girls that show up at a party decide not to have fun and then leave. but catherine ran away from me before i could think of a specific character.

ericthehodgeheG: big gay al would work at parties because a bunch of the girls seem to enjoy tonguing each other
ericthehodgeheG: or mrs. cartman because she's a hermaphrodite and has sex with herself

maybe i'll make some sort of resolution about berating and less come the new year. probably not. i do so love nursing my grudges and holding my unhappinesses close to my heart.

to do

movies i will see at some point

garden state

what the bleep do we know? (all crazy greek symbols, but i'm not going to do that here)

napoleon dynamite? this is a maybe

i'm still debating whether or not i should see hero on the big screen. it will be beautiful, i know that. but i've seen it, and i really don't make much money.

really, everyone should find "dummy" with adrian brody at their local video stores and rent it as soon as possible. also, "city of god" was pretty amazing. nothing else comes to mind from last summer. funny, considering i rented at least 25+ movies.

acceptance speech

i just started nausicaa of the valley of the wind in the living room. but i paused it during the credits because it occurred to me that i might never have discovered how incredibly awesome hayao miyazaki is without ken.

i'd like to thank ken, for suggesting one night when we were bored freshman year, that we rent the movie princess mononoke.

i'd like to thank mike liu, for mentioning the weirdass anime that adult swim started showing at midnight near the beginning of senior year.

i'd like to thank the stupid science fiction book club for sending me the riverrun trilogy when i forgot to check off and return the "please don't send me this month's selections" in the monthly mailing. i also owe them for the book of swords and his dark materials, although i chose those myself.

i'd like to thank whichever high school english class it was that required i read a prayer for owen meany over the summer.

i'd like to thank jess (my nieces' mom) for introducing me to a song of ice and fire by george r r martin.

i'd like to thank mary for joining the frisbee team freshman year.

i guess i'd like to thank common app for including columbia. i swear, i'd never heard of the place until i got in.

running out of thingys. i think that's it. i'm sure everyone in my life can claim credit for making me the person i am today, or some shit like that. if you remember something that i owe you special for, feel free to remind me.

oh, i'm definitely thanking steiner for being the first person to get off his cheap ass and buy an xbox. i love you halo.

happy birthday, sai!

yay 22! you old wrinkly bastard! you better start eating lots of fiber.

happy probably birthday austin's nephew!

snippets

the running joke is that one day i'm going to slaughter amanda and assume her identity by wearing her skin as some kind of amanda-suit. yes, the joke is actually old.

ericthehodgeheG: oh my lord
ericthehodgeheG: i followed that link
ericthehodgeheG: your sister is the shit
Nephratari 1: isn't she!!!!!!
ericthehodgeheG: it's so amazing
ericthehodgeheG: frighteningly amazing
Nephratari 1: i know
Nephratari 1: i have no idea where she learned to do that!
ericthehodgeheG: i might kill her and take her powers for my own instead of yours
ericthehodgeheG: she said it was her 2nd sculpture??
Nephratari 1: you weren't going to take my powers if i recall, just my skin
Nephratari 1: yeah.....
Nephratari 1: she's superhuman >:}
ericthehodgeheG: can't i take both?
Nephratari 1: i don't really see any conflict
ericthehodgeheG: your skin's no good to me now that the brand is gone
Nephratari 1: but you should probably take her skin
Nephratari 1: she's hotter than me
ericthehodgeheG: man, it's a good thing powers + skin are not mutually exclusive

this is especially good - from playing??

TaoZedong: trying to round up people for lion's head
ericthehodgeheG: good luck...
ericthehodgeheG: the people were a little disappointing
TaoZedong: I actually have a group
ericthehodgeheG: really
ericthehodgeheG: i think you are the last remnant of a dying age
TaoZedong: the let's-go-out-and-drink age?
ericthehodgeheG: yeah
TaoZedong: you know my father was able to tell that you, austin, and jess were the social leaders of the team just from watching us play at sectionals?
TaoZedong: he actually asked me how the team was going to get along now that you guys had graduated
TaoZedong: and I had told him nothing about this
ericthehodgeheG: your parents are amazingly observant
ericthehodgeheG: from whenever you mention them
TaoZedong: they stun me sometimes
TaoZedong: especially since my dad can't remember my birthday sometimes
ericthehodgeheG: yeah my mom is terrible with that
ericthehodgeheG: wow, from watching us play??
TaoZedong: yeah
TaoZedong: weird, isn't it?
TaoZedong: that's the only time he's ever seen you guys
ericthehodgeheG: that doesn't even make sense
ericthehodgeheG: what does he do for a living
TaoZedong: he's a sysadmin
ericthehodgeheG: right, so he observes people and their social interrelationships on a daily basis
ericthehodgeheG: ok now i understand
TaoZedong: heh

my satire piece from 11th grade

jillian went home recently and brought back a ton of crap that was stored there. it's strange that she still has this stuff. lord only knows where all of my high school stuff is. heh, raeka has all of her elementary through high school stuff in filing cabinets in her basement at home. no joke. anyways, i must have written this during high school, because it has my name on it. it's pretty funny. certain sentences made me laugh out loud. even better because i have no recollection of this at all. there are certain grammatical errors, and some stylistic changes i would make now, but i'll transcribe it here as is. (it's topical, too. i am current)

Y2K My Way
People of the Earth! The day of doom is approaching. Judgement is upon us. Apocalypse comes! What am I talking about? Not the AP exams, or the SATs, but something far worse. Something that signals the end of civilization as we know it. The year 2000 is less than one year away! Never mind that the millenium really begins on January 1st, 2001; the year 2000 will crash computer systems across the world. As any Newsweek reader worth their salt can tell you, the world will explode on 12:01:01, as their multiple articles dutifully report to us. For some reason, geniuses that can program computers never realized that the year 2000 would come eventually. In the interest of saving time, or perhaps just plain laziness, these programmers dated everything in two digits: day/month/year. Now that the year 2000 is practically here, all computers will 00 as the year 1900, and that means electricity, communications, transportation, banks, businesses, government, and everything else that fat, contented homosapians rely on to improve their lifestyles will turn on their human masters and destroy everything in sight. What can we do about this? What drastic measures must the human race take to save ourselves from the evil of technology before it annihilates us? I've spent many a sleepless night praying for a solution, a way to survive the oncoming disaster. After being bombarded multiple times by stray plummeting waste, and suffering a minor concussion, I experienced an epiphany.
Effective immediately, the world will revert to the Middle Ages. Every piece of junk that has been invented after the 1100's will be smashed into little itty-bitty pieces. Anyone who knows how to build this stuff, or even fix it, will be smashed into little-er itty-bitty pieces [ok, one thing i really want to change, is little-er itty bitty pieces to little-er itty-er-bitty-er pieces-er]. Do we need this crap? NO!!! It is better to destroy our civilization before it becomes our undoing then to just face the Y2K problem logically and calmly. The rampant paranoia and general ignorance of science that was the atmosphere of the Middle Ages is a much more viable solution than reprogramming the computers. Our world will be carved into individual fiefdoms, each under the power of one supreme world dictator, who will be elected by popular vote. Since I understand the momentous importance of keeping the election fair and honest, I volunteer myself to the onerous task of counting the votes. The world can do without computers, clocks, indoor plumbing, electricity, cars, telephones, or television.
The benefits of my plan are too numerous to list, but I'll try my best. first of all, and most importantly, our computers won't go berserk and crush us humans like insects since they'll be in itty-bitty pieces. People who can't figure out the Internet won't feel like idiots anymore. Those damn annoying collect call commercials and Paul Reiser won't be bothering us anymore. Movies and popcorn won't be expensive, because they'll no longer exist. Any pet peeves caused by technology will be gone. Guns and bombs and nuclear missiles will all be dismantled or thrown into the sun. People will have to revert to using a good old-fashioned sword in order to kill others. Also, the advantages to the environment are a great incentive. Factories will no longer cause smog and acid rain, air conditioners will no longer dissipate the ozone layer, pesticides will no longer poison rivers and endangered species, etc. etc. Make-up companies will stop testing their products on rabbits. Lab rats will not be infected with AIDs and cancer for the greater good. Those eco-terrorists will stop pestering everyone. And best of all, everyone can relax. Knowing that the year 2000 will not bring oblivion can be a great stress-reliever. Without this worry hanging over their heads, people can go back to working the fields, work that was formerly done by evil computerized machines that are biding their time.
Some people might say that I'm going too far, that I'm exaggerating the effects of the Y2K bug. They say that it's no big deal, and that programmers are already fixing the problem. They say there is nothing to worry about. To them I say, "better to be safe than sorry." What if they are right? Then we'll have destroyed civilization for nothing besides a wild, hysterical paranoia. That would be too bad. They argue that we need cars, telephones, computers, television, video games, electricity, etc. According to them, without technology, mankind would be no better than the lowest animal. The construction and employment of tools by mankind elevates us above all other species. But what if they are wrong? What if our computers develop emotions and self-awareness? Now they're only beating us at chess, but in less than a year they will supplant us as masters of the Earth unless we take drastic measures. Who hasn't seen the movie Terminator 2? That's what I thought [checkmate. bam!]. I can see the faces of multitudes alight with joy, freed from the burden of learning how to program a VCR, or type without looking at the keyboard. To those of you who recognize my wisdom, onward (or should I say backward?) to a new (old?) millenium! To those of you who perceive my revelation as insanity, you'll be sorry when your television takes control of your mind and makes you watch horrible shows like Dawson's Creek or Felicity, Veronica's Closet, World's Funniest Home Videos, or the X-Files. To the perceptive, intuitive people out there who realize exactly how dangerous this Y2K bug is, I hope you will support my plan to end civilization. After all, anything is better than having our computers think that it is the year 1900. What could be worse? Even destroying all the helpful technology that has been centuries in the making is better than that. So people of the world, unite. Pessimists who foresee the end of the world on January 1st, 2000, destroy every appliance, every tool, every invention that improves your life and help me make the world a better, safer place.

damn that was long. I feel like this could be adapted to the FCC (stupid colin powell's stupid son), or homeland security (stupid tom ridge) pretty easily.

little things

i might post about my time in new york in detail at some point. overall, a lot of fun. disappointing how few people came out at night. also disappointing how everyone kept "going to class" and "doing work." i really hated it when i called someone and they asked, will you be around tomorrow? oh ok, i'll hang out with you then." cuz it never works out that way.

in short -
good things: m2m breakfast, saji's early bird, m2m breakfast, the place across from the chinatown ice cream factory (over rice menu!), playing the first practice in socks (and beating dan chirlin), seeing pooja on the east side, seeing sai before i left, hanging out with dave every day in some lounge or another watching him play poker, and have i left anything out? lion's head didn't let me down.

very very good thing: dogears.net for helping me sell 3 textbooks for $140 total. awesome.

people have stopped blogging, for the most part. must be school, or something. sad. by the way, go to amanda's blog and look at the sculpture that her sister just finished. great googily moogily. wow wow wow. it's amazing!

i was happy with my frisbee. it deteriorated surprisingly less than i thought it would in the months since i last exercised it. it being "the frisbee," whatever that is. when i was tossing, my throws were spot on. and during drills and stuff. i made a bad throw to tao when i called a city play, but it was that tough one up the sideline. eh. i didn't feel too slow either, although everyone is probably out of shape. man was i sore the next day (and still slightly now). but i was playing in socks the whole time, as i didn't bring running shoes to new york. and i beat dan chirlin for a hucking drill. the second time we went up though, neither of us got it. and the third, it was way in front of us, and i gave up, while he put on an extra burst to catch it. then stoops eliminated me by grabbing the disc just as my fingers touched the rim.

i was throwing with dan for a little bit and he asked why i didn't play club. i explained that i didn't think i was a club caliber player, which he said was nonsense. i then explained how the aspect of "ultimate" (i call it frisbee on purpose) that i hate the most (really, the only one that i do hate) is the competitiveness at higher levels (i.e. club). he seemed to understand. oh well. if i get into a law school next year i'll have one year left.

catherine is neato

she left a message on my voicemail while i was in the subway in new york on wednesday night. it started off ok, but as i was listening to it, i remember thinking, "haha, she's so terrible at leaving messages. she's trailing off again!" that was about half a second before she started giggling during her message as she realized the same thing. i thought that was great.

also, everyone else seems to find the idea of me being a high school teacher ludicrous. something about fragile egos and whatnot. when i told catherine about the test she said i'd be a really good teacher! and when i told her that everyone says i'll be mean, she said, "only to the ones who deserve it," which is exactly how i'd do it. she also said i'd be engaging. maybe because of my hand gestures? that was really nice.

i think i've run out of good things to say about her.

the mtel

i just finished the massachusetts teachers' educator licensure exam. i'm not sure if that's what the t stands for, actually. that's not important. the thing took forever. i took communications and literature in the morning and high school mathematics in the afternoon. one has 4 hours to do each.

the communications and literature test is divided into a reading subtest and a writing subtest. the reading had 30 reading comprehension questions, 6 vocabulary definitions, and i forget what else. the writing had 30 sentence corrections, and maybe 30 passage editing questions? i don't remember which was in what section, really. reading and writing seem somewhat related to me... the writing also had 3 grammatical terms and 3 short answer sentence rewrites. at the end there are two open response questions, one requires that you summarize a passage and one requires you choose a side in a debate and then defend it (like the SAT II writing). the whole thing took me 2.5 stupid hours. i could've finished faster but i started taking my time once i realized how much extra time i had.

some stuff... the vocab was accustomed, designate, peril, relentless, and two words i can't remember. the grammatical terms were adverb, imperative sentence, and interrogative sentence.

i walked into my math exam room and counted 4 men and 18 women. i thought that was a little strange, but then the proctor said something about elementary and middle school math, as well as physics and chemistry. he only handed out 2 calculators, which were provided for hs math and physics (and maybe chemistry), so those womenfolk were testing for good old arithmetic. my world makes sense again.

the math was painful. 3.5 hours. 100 mc questions and 2 open response. the or were really easy. so were the mc, for the most part, but i probably made some careless mistakes. however, i have no idea what a correlative constant is. and there was some other term i didn't recognize. also, one question asked who generally receives the credit for inventing calculus, and another was who generally receives the credit for inventing -- was it algebra? i don't think it was geometry... what else is there?

out of a score of 100, a 70 is passing. i hope i blew all of the dinosaurs out of the water. my hand hurts.

final fantasy

new online comic. funny. ff sprites. ff as in final fantasy 1. it made my eyes hurt after a bit, the whole presentation is very crowded. but the black mage is pretty sweet. he's an intelligent cartman with magical powers.

http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010412
http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010503
http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010604

i had trouble falling asleep after posting about college, last night. boy was that depressing.

long

i spent 44 minutes on that post. damn. i promise, it was well-written in my head. it's hard to be eloquent and hateful at the same time. what's the point in saying negative things well?

that guy who can't move on

i said as much to pooja earlier tonight about not wanting to be that guy, and then seeing sai's post made me want to post my own version, as i never found the perfect study spot. dork.

i still check the newsgroup (i still post as well, and i think i still make people afraid to post), i still check my columbia email account, i still talk to people from columbia on IM. i hate new york, but if for some reason i was living there, i'd probably go to columbia fairly often to hang out. fairly often might be once a month if i have to leave my bed, put on clothes, and hop a subway, or even - god forbid - transfer once or twice, but i'd still want to see tao and stoops and casey and whoever else i might be leaving out. amanda? oo, catherine. she's funny.

but i don't live in new york. so it's not an issue. however, i am going to stay there for two or three days, ostensibly to sell textbooks, which is a solid and true reason, but i'm passing through on my way back from ma --> va, and i probably would've stayed without any purpose. but even this small trip makes me scared of being that guy. you know, the one who graduated but keeps coming back for some creepy reason.

it's weird thinking they start school today, or tomorrow, or however you distinguish your calendar days. i'm not in school anymore. i think many many gods for that. but it is sad to know i won't spend any more days tossing when i have x problem sets due, or waking up at 4:50 am to catch the bus for a tournament when everyone has been waiting for me.

sai is wrong. dead wrong. two week old rotting corpse dead wrong. or maybe it's just me. i can offer up my own predictions for all you kids that have the natural intelligence to succeed and the apathy to not. everyone who possesses the work ethic of belly button lint, hearken to my words:

love-hate relationship with mudd? no love. only unadulterated hate. try going from floor 2 to floor 8 to floor 6 in one day of classes and you will loathe mudd with a hatred so pure it's almost holy. working on a problem set and figuring out the last problem? how about doing 3 out of the 10 problems because that's all you could get in the hour before class. find their groups? how about not talking to anyone in any of your classes. how about not going to classes?? office hours? not once, bitch. and i am proud of that. begging a TA for help? look at my grades. could any TAs possibly have helped me?

you'll make all of your friends freshman year. you'll grow to, if not hate, then at least massively dislike maybe 85% of them by sophomore year. you'll learn who your true friends are when housing comes around. you'll always talk about making new friends, but you never will. these people you became friends with due to convenience and circumstance are your college friends for the rest of your life.

you'll be focused and do all of your problem sets and earn As on all of your midterms. you'll break under the unending barrage of problem sets pretty soon after that first midterm (did i mention you have two in every class?) and end up with a B after the final. sometimes, you'll be unlucky enough to have one of the asshole professors that curves to a C. their integrity is too important, and of course, a C is by definition average. never mind that curving to a B, or at least a B-, is standard practice nowadays and the professor's integrity has nothing to do with the kid's gpa.

you'll go through a succession of shitty dorms. each is minutely less shitty than the one before it. when you are finally at the top of the totem shitpole, you'll earn a 100-150 sq. ft. single. that is, if the housing lottery doesn't fuck you. possibly you'll have a kitchen and a bathroom, if you can find people willing to live with you.

sophomore year you'll find out that the school forces you to choose a major. you have no idea what any of these majors are. you pick one without any actual basis. you've chosen your own method of torture for the rest of your college years.

in the middle of your spring semester of senior year you'll realize that you're graduating in a few weeks. you'll also realize you have no job prospects and no plans. shock and indecision freezes you until its too late to do _anything_.

you'll chase after girls, but you manage to pick the cream of the crop in terms of the cream being fucking psychos. they all turn out to be lesbians or awful people, or both. any girl that you'd actually have a chance with you reject out of hand. your one drunken one-night stand turns into a magical morning of being kicked out of her room and then being called a rapist.

you'll graduate from columbia feeling only an apathetic sort of dislike, like a bad aftertaste. there's not enough emotion there to be called anything else. you're left with the vague feeling that you should've done things differently, but also the knowledge that if you had the chance to do it all over again you'd fuck it up in all the same ways.

when people ask you how you liked columbia (they never ask if), you're unsure how to respond. it was ok. i fucking hated it. eh. there are worse schools. take your pick.

the columbia experience. have i left anything out?

this might sound really sad. but i've left out all of my happy memories. most of them are irrevocably tainted. but, the ones that are left almost all have to do with frisbee, which is not unique to columbia in any way. i won't give the university credit for any of it.

i don't think i'm the right kind of person for college. or a career. what am i the right kind of person for? or for the grammatically inclined, for what am i the right kind of person?

books these days

sex and the city on book. i saw these titles are grouped together under a sign that said "for women":

the devil wears prada
let's meet on platform 8
the dirty girls social club
confessions of a shopaholic
i love everyone (and other atrocious lies)

look at these titles. no wonder our society's women are all stupid, stupid whores. look! the best (or worst, i can't decide which) part? i saw a bunch of "novels" in the young adult section named "the gossip girl." yes, the gossip girl. there's a role model for all the impressionable young stupid whores-in-training still in middle school or high school. young adults are building up to the aforementioned whore titles from gossip girl novels such as: "i like it like that," "because i'm worth it," "all i want is everything," "you're the one that i want," and "you know you love me." which of those titles is the worst? what word am i looking for here? it has to mean stupid, lacking all self-respect, promiscuous, hateful, and other words i can't think of. and it has to make a person feel nauseous just hearing it, like i felt when i saw this series.

on a less awful note: i was mesmerized by the young adult section at borders, not counting the gossip girl. there are so many good books that i remember! lucky kids... i saw his dark materials by philip pullman, a wrinkle in time by madeleine l'engle, so you want to be a wizard by diane duane, redwall by brian jacques, and some others i think, that i can't remember now. there are 2 more books in the wizardry series by DD, and i think i might buy them. there are a bunch of other books by ML, but they look like typical crappy young adult things about girls meeting boys in europe. and i read maybe 10 books by BJ before realizing they stopped being good after redwall, or mossflower.

harry potter's success has led to a ton of crap that looks the exact same. or at least similar. i'd be interested in reading some but i imagine some of it has to be crap, considering the volume of books in this 11-year old wizard genre that are being published now. a lot of them are trilogies, which is funny. how many 12 year old kids know what a trilogy is? although with star wars and the lord of the rings, the word might be a little more common nowadays. regardless, the edge trilogy, the spiderwick trilogy, the bartimaeus trilogy... there's "a series of unfortunate events," which is in book the 11th now. what else? artemis fowl is on book 2? and so is eragon, i think. can anyone tell me if any of these books are worth it?

i'm thinking of starting a _ group, what are they called? a protest group? something like, sensible people against stupid, stupid whores. spassw. almost good. i'll work with the name a bit.