i reiterate

goddamn. queen bitch deserves a second post. so fucking hot. goddamn. heh.

may 16, 1986

18 years 2 months and 12 days. oh yes. i got confessions of a teenage drama queen, and the queen bitch of the high school is fucking hot. that hallowed date in the title is her birthday. note how may 16 has passed 18 times since then. hallelujah. if you see the movie, you'll see what i'm talking about.

watch entourage!

i saw the second episode. that show is a winner. i'm not wrong about these things.

in validation of my taste, arrested development won 7 emmys. or it got nominated. when are the emmys? whatever. suck it catherine gainey.

i saw part of tough crowd with colin quinn, which is not bad. there were two black comedians on the panel and they were talking about drugs. one of the guys pronounces crystal meth as crystal mef, which causes the female comedian to ask what's up with that. why can't you pronounce th? the other black dude says, "we got things to do." heh. probably the best answer that could be given.

justice league

i saw a commercial proclaiming that the justice league is dead. but the NEW justice league is coming. and this new one, Justice League Unlimited, is big. i forget how the commercial did it. some lead in like, what's better than 6 heroes? how about a gazillion? and it shows the justice league space station FULL of superheroes. awesome. so cool. an army of people with superpowers. the commercial drove that point home maybe 4 times in the 30 seconds or so of airtime. lotsa superheroes. i hope it's cool.

great minds

i saw most of an episode of family guy on cartoon network. in this one, brian goes to hollywood to make it big, and ends up directing adult films. in the end, it shows the family in their seats on the plane. sitting next to peter is a bound and gagged jenna jameson. he's telling her how much she'll love it in quahog. there is no reason for this little bit. i guess it's just seth mcfarlane's private homage. the man's got taste. any girl with a tattoo of "heartbreaker" on her ass is a keeper.

the bourne supremacy

i saw it in arlington with josh and hayle. wow, the theater was packed. we were sitting in the fourth row, i think, over on the side, so the angle both vertical and horizontal were terrible. oh well. i still thought the movie was pretty awesome. although the chase sequences, or anything with shaky camera action and lots of fast cutting, made my head hurt.

things that occurred to me:

i was in the line for the ticket taker, which consisted of a couple, and then me. and this man walks right in front of me with 3 kids. what an asshole. the worst part? one of his kids (i assume he's a father) is tugging on his arm and saying, "you can't cut. we can't cut!" the jerk ignores his kid and walks right by me like i'm not there. normally i would've called the guy an asshole and told him to get in line (what circle of hell do cutters go to?), but i felt so bad for the kid i just smiled at him and told the kid it was no big deal (the man noticed none of this). he looked so embarassed for his dad's bad behavior. i hope he grows up with that sense of decency intact.

hayle asked me why i hate julia stiles. i don't hate her. she can be pretty, sometimes, and she's not a bad actress. what i hate is this whole generation of not hot attresses being cast in roles that clearly call for hot actresses. kirsten dunst as mary jane parker? please. anna pacquin as rogue? she is just flat out weird looking. julia stiles as anyone's love interest? give me a break. the funny thing is someone realized that them not being attractive means that they won't automatically be dismissed as being only attractive, and thus they can play "serious" parts. in the good old days, a woman had to be hot, then turn oldish and become distinguished looking, and then she'd get the serious roles. meryl streep used to be hot. susan sarandon? hot. was diane keaton hot? probably.

and so we have a miserable dearth of hot actresses around my age getting movie roles. eliza dushku gets wrong turn, jessica biel gets texas chainsaw massacre... cheesy horror flicks? instead, we get MONA LISA SMILE. kirsten dunst AND julia stiles. the horror. the fucking horror. and even better, julia roberts, who really isn't very good looking, is their mentor. even maggie gyllenhal is kind of pretty, but only sometimes. whoever was in charge must have explicitly placed a prohibition on hiring someone all-around good-looking. the one saving grace has to be the presence of the name "marcia gay harden" in the credits.

look at the first line of the plot summary from IMDB: "A free-thinking art professor teaches conservative 50's Wellesley girls to question their traditional societal roles."

translation? An unattractive lesbian teaches unattractive girls with lesbian tendencies to express their lesbianism.

god, i hate those actresses so much. now i'm agitated.

i apologize to the bourne supremacy for going off track so much. it's really good. watch it.

2 movies you ought not to see

another IM blog. but i liked how i phrased it, so i'm sticking it here too.

Lyra1231: i watched 3 movies on that flight!
ericthehodgeheG: which ones?
Lyra1231: house of sand and fog (depressing), starsky and hutch (1.5 times), and lord of the rings
ericthehodgeheG: house of sand and fog was just terrible
ericthehodgeheG: it was the same movie as 21 grams
Lyra1231: noo!
Lyra1231: it was so different!
Lyra1231: just because they were both sad!
Lyra1231: did you get a new computer?
ericthehodgeheG: no?
ericthehodgeheG: why
ericthehodgeheG: they were sad
ericthehodgeheG: i don't think they were "good" in any sense
ericthehodgeheG: they made me feel emotion only because of the EXTREMELY TERRIBLE THINGS that happened to them OVER AND OVER AND OVER and only got PROGRESSIVELY WORSE
Lyra1231: 21 grams was a little too much
Lyra1231: you're becoming old
ericthehodgeheG: what??
Lyra1231: if you need caps lock to effectively express emotion
Lyra1231: old and cranky
ericthehodgeheG: you misunderstand
ericthehodgeheG: i'm imitating the movie
Lyra1231: OLD AND CRANKY
ericthehodgeheG: bludgeoning you what i want you to take in
ericthehodgeheG: that's how the movie did it, with caps lock
ericthehodgeheG: i like my explanation a lot. i'm going to put this on my blog and hopefully i can stop at least one person from seeing either of those movies
Lyra1231: as always eric, struggling for justice and the greater good.
Lyra1231: i LIKED house of sand and fog
Lyra1231: the kid has to die, to show that the worlds of the two families can't coexist peacefully
ericthehodgeheG: yes, the kid, the one who deserves it the least
ericthehodgeheG: to pull at the viewers' heartstrings
Lyra1231: they didn't have to kill themselves though
Lyra1231: why did he kill his wife??
Lyra1231: she must have known deep down her kid was dead
ericthehodgeheG: the writer thinks death = meaning, or some shit
ericthehodgeheG: i saw both of those movies and i think i am worse off for it

ffx + i not heart lesbians + parajob + wildwood

i meant to blog more, last time, but when i hit publish, it stayed on the 0% published forever until i closed the window. but it turned out it did publish. currently, i am having trouble blogging anything because of the gigantic font in this create new post window, and i'm having second thoughts. oh well. here goes.

i'm over 40 hours on final fantasy x. i really do like the story. i really want to know if they got it from "through the looking glass." with the red king and all. reminds me of how all the sci fi short stories i have enjoyed start with this tiny seed of an idea and grow around that. anyways, i regret in some ways playing ffx2 first. and having jillian explain to me part of the plot before i played it. and reading ahead in the faqs to who this or that boss is. i won't try to defend my faq-perusing here, though. i could get into a few paragraphs about why i use them and why i don't think of it as "cheating."

the graphics from ffx to ffx2 have not changed too much. a lot of palette reusing. but i notice the most (possibly only) difference during cutscenes with the polygonal characters. tidus has this plump face that just bothers me. it makes me think of entitled prep school kids who never have to work for anything. and yuna's face seems so blank. but in fmv, they are transformed. the scene in macalania woods in the pond... anyone who has seen it knows what i'm talking about. they look like two adolescent kids in polygon form, and then the camera angle changes and it's suddenly fmv and there's a woman singing in japanese in the background and tidus looks like the hero - handsome and wise and caring - of an rpg and yuna looks like the heroine, she is _beautiful_. oh, and her wedding dress! amazing.

i just watched the episode of buffy where willow tells buffy exactly how good "friends" she is with tara. upsetting. i hate lesbians. not as a people, and not in a stereotypical or bigoted way. mostly, i have a deep, personal, abiding grudge with one lesbian in particular. make that two. although now that i look at what i just wrote, saying i hate all lesbians because i hate one does sound like bigotry. even though i feel well justified in my hating. hmm.

tao IMed me as he was considering going to wildwood with stoops, and finding out that the registration deadline was the 10th. of course, where would we get the ladies? the columbia frisbee team has problems with women, in both the frisbee and the women capacities. whatever. i had a blast last summer. i got to know ben better from that, for which i am glad. he doesn't read blogs, so i'm not worried about him reading this - i know some people on the team can't stand him, and find him incredibly annoying. he's said some weird stuff sometimes, but i enjoy his presence overall. i've had problems with being friends with someone only because i felt bad for them, and it's bitten me in the ass, but still. i don't think ben's that type. i felt pretty bad for him when he left school in the middle of the year. it came as a surprise to me, although not a complete one. i could understand him being lonely and stuff, but i think he could've made more of an effort if he needed more human contact. and, honestly, i feel that austin shoving him away when he tried to sing "heat of the moment" had something to do with it. if i was ben, that sort of moment would crystallize whatever thoughts i was having about leaving. and when i needle austin about it, it's mostly because it's hilarious, but partly because i think he should feel bad about it.

friday morning, i sent out my resume with a slightly varied cover letter to 6 law firms (paralegaling) in dc. 5 i just looked up and 1 was on monstertrak. i got a response from one of the 5 asking for a writing sample, which i sent just before 5pm that day. no further responses. i also applied to the fbi for the intelligence analyst vacancy, which is what my brother was hired as. and i sent my resume to the us airforce through monstertrak, just because. i do need to look some more, though. eggs and baskets and all that.

two large digressions away from the wildwood tao subject. possibly he's going, possibly stoops, possibly i might meet him there. some time out in the sun would do me some good, seeing as i haven't been outside for more than 5 minutes at a time since i came down to va. and we could always head over to ac, where i could supplement my non income with winnings. knock on wood... it'd be cool if this pans out. i'll let you know.

entourage

cool new series on HBO. i just saw the pilot (i think), and i like it. i'll keep an eye out for the next one.

what's going on? blogger has some new setup under create post. and the font looks all funky. i'm going to post this to see what it looks like.

hush

amazing episode. so well done. joss whedon is a genius. i had goose bumps and chills the entire time. that might have been due to the low room temperature, but i attribute it to the intensely creepy feeling that pervaded the entire 45 minutes. wow. incredible: the whole overhead presentation, buffy making a stabby motion that looked like a different motion, and anya asking xander if he wanted to do the finger through the hole thing. i think the episode won an emmy.

jenny turpish slapped me

i got this from tao's blog. i'll do the same thing and see what resonates with me.

my results

Wackiness: 40/100
Rationality: 60/100
Constructiveness: 80/100
Leadership: 60/100

You are an SRCL--Sober Rational Constructive Leader. This makes you an Ayn Rand ideal. Taggart? Roark? Galt? You are all of these. You were born to lead (the leading part fits. i always end up organizing crap). You may not be particularly exciting, but you have a strange charisma--born of intellect and personal drive--that people begin to notice when they have been around you a while. You don't like to compromise, but you recognize when you have to.

You care absolutely nothing what other people think, and this somehow attracts people to you. Treat them well, use them wisely, and ascend to your rightful rank.

wacky instead of sober?
You are a WRCL--Wacky Rational Constructive Leader. This makes you a golden god. People gravitate to you, and you make them feel good. You are smart, charismatic, and interesting (i wish). You may be too sensitive to others reactions, especially criticism. Your self-opinion and mood depends greatly on those around you.

You think fast and have a smart mouth, is a hoot to your friends and razorwire to your enemies. You hold a grudge like a brass ring. You crackle (yes to being a dick to people who insult me. yes to holding a grudge. crackle? and the bad grammar in the first sentence really bugs me).

Although you have a leader's personality, you often choose not to lead, as leaders stray too far from their audience. You probably weren't very popular in high school--the joke's on them (ouch)!

You may be a rock star.

emotional instead of rational?
You are an SECL--Sober Emotional Constructive Leader. This makes you a politician. You cut deals, you change minds, you make things happen. You would prefer to be liked than respected, but generally people react to you with both. You are very sensitive to criticism, since your entire business is making people happy.

At times your commitment to the happiness of other people can cut into the happiness of you and your loved ones. This is very demanding on those close to you, who may feel neglected. Slowly, you will learn to set your own agenda--including time to yourself.

You are gregarious, friendly, charming and charismatic. You like animals, sports, and beautiful cars. You wear understated gold jewelry and have secret bad habits, like chewing your fingers and fidgeting.

You are very difficult to dislike.

i'm gonna say, no, to the whole description.

follower instead of leader?
You are an SRCF--Sober Rational Constructive Follower. This makes you a White House staffer. You are a tremendous asset to any employer, cool under pressure, productive, and a great communicator. You feel the need to right wrongs, take up slack, mediate disputes and keep the peace. This comes from a secret fear that business can't go on without you (agreed)--or worse, that it can (not agreed).

If you have a weakness, it is your inability to say "no." While your peers respect you, they find it difficult to resist taking advantage of your positive attitude and eagerness to take on work. You depend on a good manager to keep you from sinking under the weight and burning out. (blah blah - i don't work well under anyone, mainly because i don't work)

request

i know it's poor form to post im conversations, but screw you. i'm doing it anyway. sucka.

Apardo04: hey do you take requests for your blog?
ericthehodgeheG: hot
ericthehodgeheG: interception
ericthehodgeheG: like what
Apardo04: ha
ericthehodgeheG: brb
Apardo04: like... the objectification of women vis-a-vis those shorts that display a slogan or place name on the ass, thus directing one's eyes toward the woman's buttocks
Apardo04: just a thought
ericthehodgeheG: and how them sluts want men looking at their asses?
Apardo04: i think its spread to include non-sluts too
ericthehodgeheG: no, they're all sluts
ericthehodgeheG: that's the point
ericthehodgeheG: or wannabe sluts
Apardo04: and as such, theyre receiving unwanted adulation
Apardo04: could be
ericthehodgeheG: which is worse, since that means they're actually just teases
ericthehodgeheG: have you ever seen a fat chick wearing the ass advertising? not a pretty sight
Apardo04: well nevertheless, is there enough moral outrage to produce a blog entry out of this?
Apardo04: i have, and it isnt pretty
ericthehodgeheG: sure, why not
ericthehodgeheG: i haven't been hooked up for a while so i haven't blogged in a coupla days
ericthehodgeheG: i'll see what i can do

i honestly think pardo started this whole thing so he could set himself up to use the phrase "vis-a-vis." look at that sentence. he rolled that around in his head so many times it, you know, did something indicative of being rolled too much. i was playing up the slut angle, which is, coincidentally, completely true. our young are nothing but filthy whores, or even worse, teases. these shorts are endemic of the apocalypse. i'm not sure if i'm using the word endemic correctly, like an illness being endemic to a region, but i don't care. vis-a-vis my ass, biotch. those shorts do make me angry. i don't know about me writing a fiery post from the pulpit about the hellish delights that await the ass-advertisers. this will have to do. i really overdid it with the name calling. must be a product of my defensiveness concerning this crap post. wow.

_hate it_

i saw anchorman today with josh. i laughed almost the whole way through it. but the movie has no merit, so to speak. i got nothing out of it. i paid, i sat, i laughed - a lot, to be fair, and then i left. overall i'd rather have a movie with some attempt at significance, at least a little bit. oh, can't ever go wrong with journey, though.

i wasn't planning on writing any review for it, because it wouldn't be fair to the movies i watched before i left mass. but didn't review on here, but those few sentences are about all i need. i'm sorry, pre-va movies. for now, EVERYONE SHOULD RENT DUMMY. with adrian brody. he wants to be a ventriloquist. it's amazing, and pardo gets all the credit for picking it out.

my time lately, as i've said before, has been completely occupied by buffy and ffx2. i have just about 70 hours in ffx2. sickening. and i'm on episode 4 of season 4. that's... 12 + 22 + 22 + 3 = 59 * .75 = 44.25 hours of buffity. jesus.

i was considering a post earlier about how relieved i felt whenever i watched any scene between buffy and angel during which they get emotional. relieved that i don't feel anything like that about anyone, and that if i used to, it was really just me kidding myself. god, that show is a lotta soap. joss mentions it whenever he does an interview about any episode, how the show is one part comedy one part action ? parts soap. anyone who loved that terrible dawson's creek would really worship this show if they gave it a chance.

i mean, it's a love story about a vampire slayer and a vampire. how corny does that sound? still, sarah michelle gellar puts on a pretty convincing cry. and she does an extremely good job of looking badass tough one minute and then little girl vulnerable the next. when they were in the sewer and she asked angel, "how am i supposed to stay away from you?" i really felt myself becoming a woman.

also bugging me to post: you have this show. a central aspect of this show is a story. a love story. about two people. in love. these two people are in love. they are, in this show, meant to be together. i _hate_ it so so much when they separate, as they inevitably do in any show, and move on. i hate it. hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it. it doesn't matter to me that maybe no two people are meant for each other in real life; i don't want to watch real life. i could live real life; i'd rather watch fake nice life on tv. (do i start overusing semicolons when i rant? that's odd, isn't it?) i don't want to see buffy move on and sleep with other boys. i don't want her kissing other boys. i want her to be miserable and cry forever or get back with her one and only. this moving on option should not be an option. does this make me a girl? or a wimp? either one? it just feels wrong, inside.

i understand that there exists a very supportive online community of "DJers." These people have online message boards and they honestly refer to themselves as DJers, short for ?Dawson Joey -ers? Never mind how i know, or how infinitely pathetic they, and by some extension, myself, are and am... we share the same moral outrage, although i feel i can confidently say they are on (much much) shakier mental ground than i. keep fighting the good fight, you sad crazy loveless bastards. (am i talking to myself or to DJers? even if i wasn't just talking to myself, i definitely just asked myself a question. on my blog. i need help)

help

fireworks

i went to the dc mall (that 2 mile strip between the capitol (i'll never remember a or o) building and the washington phallus/monument tonight for fireworks. i figure if i'm virginia, i'm pretty close to what ought to be the best fireworks display in the nation, so i ought to take advantage of it. did not disappoint. really cool. really pretty. really sparkly. really... patriotic? what's nice is i think the flash floods earlier today kept too many people from coming and crowding the mall with their obese american supersized asses.

anyone who went on spring break will remember my campaign for "down in front" at that stupid rookie game. i hate all those people. they make me so angry. angry enough to hurl a camping chair into the air. my view tonight was not obscured, but there were still some louts standing in front of my friends, including one genius with a kid on his shoulders. i had two comments that i think bear recording here, "please, sit down for america," and "operation shock and awe" in reference to the amazing pyrotechnic display of america's might/grandeur/splendor/wealth/capitalism. actually, as i was getting impatient i said, "josh, isn't it time for the finale? it's been 11 minutes, and that's longer than you last." i think that's pretty good too.

i was thinking during the show about how as we get older, we regain appreciation for a lot of the simple - and usually not even fun - things we enjoyed when we were kids. i know there's that whole nostalgia and sentimentality, and that child programming thing advertisers aim for. but i think as it takes more and more (and probably eventually becomes impossible) to fill us with wonder, we get this yearning for things that shouldn't be fun but we just remember as such. or is that the definition of nostalgia? sort of like: i loved this awful candy when i was a kid, i'm older now, being old kinda sucks, i want to be a kid again, thus i will pretend to love this awful candy as an adult. only i pick just the good stuff to reminisce about, so i'm fine.

here's what prompted me to post in the first place -
ericthehodgeheG: i just want this away message so i can paste it in my blog and laugh
Auto response from let this one fly: another lonely holiday is over
ericthehodgeheG: thank you

that's funny, right?

i'm a little over halfway through season 2 of buffy. i have a story that's too embarassing to relate here. i don't believe in that panopticon shit; i will hide everything i think is shameful about myself, which pretty much means everything except for the occasional movie reviews. but if you ask me about aforementioned buffy viewing story i might tell you. maybe. probably. yeah.

happy independence day

i finished the first season of buffy. i really did forget how good the show was (before it got weird, anyway. i stopped watching somewhere in season 2).

puppet show, and some assembly required (season 2) have really good twists.

xander makes some terrible jokes, but every so often i laugh out loud.

xander willow and buffy are walking down the hall. they spot giles waiting for ms. calendar.
x: speaking of love -
w: we were talking about the reanimation of dead tissue!
x: do i deconstruct your segues?

the nicest thing about having a girlfriend has to be holding hands. besides the sex, that is. and the kissing. and maybe some other stuff.

life

i just transferred an ant i found crawling on my monitor to a piece of paper, then to a leaf which i laid outside. we've never really talked about it, but my mom does not kill bugs. she says she tries not to kill anything at all. i guess that's her one way of adhering to buddhism. so i don't mind taking a few extra seconds to move an ant outside instead of smushing it. but if there were, say, a horde of them (is army the actual word for a group of ants?), i would probably squish them all rather than moving them all outside.

spiders i always kill. i can't stand the things. especially since one fell on my face while i was sleeping in my room at home a few weeks ago. does that make me a worst buddhist (not that i'm claiming to be one), that i'll move an ant and not a spider? what if i came back as a spider one day?

even simpler math

buffy + cheerleading outfit = goddamn

does anyone remember those little puzzles? preposition puzzles, i guess. they were usually pretty simple. the best example i can think of is

LO head VE
LO heels VE

ideally, the LOVE would be 2 rows high, and i even whipped up a craptastic table to do just that, but it seems blogger doesn't show tables, or at least it didn't when i previewed it. so you'll just have to settle for that.

*edit* the table didn't work, and this damn thing ignores space. so i just wrote love twice. which doesn't make sense, really, but i'm too annoyed to think of a better way.

i was trying to think of a way to do that with buffy in a cheerleading outfit.

but cheerleading buffy outfit is just confusing, wouldn't you say?

simple math

buffy + summer dress + knee high boots + lollipop = one fucking hot tv show

thinking on it, a lot of good shows seem to have the multi episode start. this one was a two parter. the pilot for firefly was 2 hours. batman beyond was 2 episodes (maybe more? it was enough to be released as a dvd). samurai jack was a multi (i think maybe 3 or 4, but i'm not sure). good indicator. did the powerpuff girls start that way?

spiderman TAS (the animated series) did everything in parts. it was all chapters, which was really cool. but confusing if you jumped in the middle of one.

the alien costume is still one of my favorite storylines ever in anything. is that a distinctive sounding honor?

i even think gargoyles started off with a multi-episode pilot. the list just grows and grows.

i'm so god awful lonely

so jillian and leon have been treating me so nicely. it's embarassing. almost as if i was a helpless babe. i don't really mind, but i do feel guilty for the imposition. but most of it doesn't make sense to refuse. or that's what i tell myself.

last night i had a sandwich from potbelly something's. it was really good. the 3 nights previous, i had dinner cooked by leon jillian and jillian. they were all stupendously scrumptious, delightfully delectable, and so on. salmon with rice pilaf and spinach, spicy cajun pasta with spicy cajun shrimp, and broiled ribeye steak with rice and some scallion-like plant. when we went to see spiderman 2 last night, leon went first in line and bought my ticket. maybe i could've forced him to accept money, but it's difficult to do that to an asian picking up the check (or the ticket, in this case).

i ended up not going to dc yesterday morning because i woke up with a sore throat. really sore, so i stayed home and drank a ton of water and (jillian's) OJ. i feel better now. i'm mentioning this because i felt vaguely guilty about not using the map that leon drew for me to get to the metro station as well as the metro ticket he gave me because he doesn't need it anymore.

they left early this morning (7 am) for LA for the weekend, to attend a wedding. i discovered today that jillian had bought a bunch of deli meat and cheese, presumably just for me. so nice. and there's the 24 pack of corndogs she bought for me from costco. and she bought blue moon and guinness, and already had some newcastle in the fridge, that i can help myself to.

i had separate posts in mind concerning the dinner i managed to make for myself, my feeling sick and not going to dc, how nice jillian and leon have been, ffx2, and buffy the vampire slayer, but i'll just lump them all together since it's already started.

i made a sandwich today for lunch. for dinner, i made a 3 egg omelette with tomatoes onions and swiss cheese. with newcastle to drink. how pathetic is that?

jillian owns the first 4 seasons of buffy on dvd. i'm going to take advantage, because sarah michelle gellar never looked hotter than the very first episode. that outfit, the soft brown hair that curls at the bottom, and all those quizzical facial expressions.

i popped in disc 1 of season 1. i paused it in the middle so i could write down some of what i'm thinking.

i respect joss whedon much much. the dialogue really is spot on. how long ago was this first season? it's so smooth. i also like how the characters put their feet in their respective mouths so often (which is not mutually exclusive with smoothity), and babble on in a train of thought embarassing manner that one would never see on any sitcom. it bothers me how no one ever stumbles over a sentence in tv.

god, sarah michelle gellar is hot. especially in the series premiere. even with her funky nose.

god, cordelia is even hotter. charisma carpenter, that is. is that part of a d&d dork's fantasy to have a girl whose first name is a prime attribute?

i'm just going to mention that jillian bought ffx2 last friday, since i brought my playstation. today is this friday. i have, i think, 34 hours on it. i've put in almost a full-time week of work on that sucker. and i don't care who thinks i'm weird, them ladies is hot. they're rendered, they're polygonal, so what? they're hot.

another thing about spidey 2

i know i'm being a hypocrite when i say this, but there's something seriously wrong with DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL playing during the credits. seriously. wrong.

grr

jeez, that guy makes me angry. i just caught myself shaking a fist at my computer screen after rereading what he wrote.

smug bastard

lawrence posted this on june 21. i never linked him on my sidebar, but then i've never felt like his friend. that's not offensive, is it?

In a thread in an online forum that complements the Universal Forum of Cultures in Barcelona (which is taking place now until September) I found a simple and eloquent statement about the difference between prayer and meditation.

"For me prayer is not the way forward. I prefer to use meditation where I feel I have a different relationship with God. For me it is not a case of asking God but of listening to him."

is it just me, or does he sound like he feels he is better than people that pray, and he's proud of it? that's even worse, i think. maybe it's because i've been reading the screwtape letters, but i'd rather be asking god for help all the time rather than feeling like my relationship with god is _better_ somehow than someone else's. my first impression is, what a jerk. am i completely overreacting here?

baa, where's my baa?

on a less thoughtful and weird dorky note, i'm tired of the device in movies where the guy is dreaming about a hot girl and it ends up being an animal. how many times has that been used now? this first occurred to me when i watched shanghai knights over at steiner's house. jackie chan and owen wilson crash a car and pass out. owen wilson has a dream where jackie's hot sister (fann wong, i think) licks his face. but then she "baa"s at him. of course it's a sheep. i just saw a part of dude where's my car while flipping channels tonight, and sean william scott has a dream that the alien chick is giving him head. then an ostrich's head rises into the screen. that reminded me.

it's about time for someone to dream of making it with an animal, have the animal talk to him in his dream, and then turn out to be some hot chick in reality. i don't think it'll be funny, but i'm tired of the same old thing.

i like anime

because it always searches for meaning. true, oftentimes it fails, but every so often i watch one that leaves me feeling, even if i don't know what the hell that feeling is.

normal tv just feels like opiate for the masses. what's been popular these past few years... friends? dawson's creek? the oc? seinfeld was funny, but it was empty. it seemed to me that that was what the whole last show was about, how all those years i watched it didn't mean anything. the simpsons used to be smart and satirical and witty, but it's just inane and bizarre now. like those shows on cartoon network, aqua teen hunger force or harvey birdman, attorney at law or sealab. they all rely on nonsensical humor. and don't even get me started on reality tv. one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, in my eyes.

some shows are still holding out. the daily show is intelligent. south park is not afraid to say as bluntly as possible when it thinks something is stupid. firefly is amazing.

but every time i see an episode of cowboy bebop i feel filled. my life right now isn't special and isn't headed anywhere special. i think that's how the creators of the good anime feel, and i think they're filling a void within themselves by creating their own meaning, even if it's fake. i imagine anime fails at meaning when the creators are only imitating the good stuff, without feeling that same lack.

every time i sit through all six episodes of flcl, i feel like there's purpose somewhere in the universe. i can hear grand music in my head. i think it's similar to stephen king and the chorus that accompanies his rose. i don't understand how people can watch that series and not feel moved. there's so much meaning in there, incomprehensible though it may be. i wish i could either make everyone watch it and be affected by it (it's a good thing), or i could understand how someone could not understand.

this whole post is super weird. forgive me if i just wasted your time.

really, if anyone is curious about flcl, i'll burn the series onto cd and mail it to you. it's that good, and i want to share it with people.

spider man 2 quick thoughts

just some quick things before i forget.

fight scenes were awesome. awesome.

the rest was not as good. i particularly hated how everything was spelled out. everything. the dialogue was about as subtle as a brick through a window. what demographic were they aiming the script at? retarded kindergarteners with add and turret's? and lymphoma? i don't know many disorders that cause dumbity, so i just added the lymphoma.

kirsten dunst was hideous. at least in the first one she always wore makeup. this time her digusting digustingness (i am waxing verbose here, i know. marvel at my command of the english language) was plain almost all of the time. i knew it wouldn't happen, but the whole movie, i was praying for her to fall into a vat of radioactive mutagenic acid. maybe then she'd look better.

i forgot how much of spiderman's origins are rooted in guilt. that feeling of responsibility, how much of it stems from guilt? are good deeds done because of bad feelings tainted?

i could watch the cgi of spiderman webslinging for eternity. the last few seconds of the movie, i could have watched him swinging and changing direction and flipping forever. it seems better than flying.

insomnia

as soon as i turn off my computer and climb into bed, i can not sleep. of course. it almost feels like i have a frisbee tournament tomorrow. i honestly don't remember a single tournament that i got a decent nights rest beforehand. i usually managed around 2-3 hours. i know it slows me down but i just can't sleep if i know i'll need it for tomorrow.

there's a fair number of people i've fallen out of touch with that i really ought to look up. i don't know why i'm thinking about it now, but i am. matt, linda, from columbia. i really should find out if rohrbach is in canada. and raeka and nancy, i haven't talked to them in years, and i spent almost every weekend with them my last two years in high school. i'll get around to it, someday, maybe.

sai is not a bitch

i didn't really mean it when i called sai a bitch earlier. in case anyone thought i was being serious, specifically sai.

achewood

it's 3 am and i'm supposed to get up at 8:30 to meet my mom while she's in dc on a tour. it should be worth it; it'd be nice to go to the air and space museum, and afterwards, DINOSAURS. but, knowing i have to wake up so early, i am of course reluctant to retire for the night. i checked in on lawrence's blog and followed a link to achewood. fucking hilarious. it might be my fuzzy-eyed state but some of those strips left me gasping. the multi-part story with uncle culpepper, and the current one about goths are great. this one had me laughing out loud in particular. it is true, painful is funny.